Twilight
7/30/2002
 
Venting ahead. You have been warned.

I fucking hate all of you. I hate you all. Go to hell and rot, goddamn you. I HATE YOU ALL and I want to fucking die right now because I fucking hate all this stupid shit. And if even one person bitches at me for writing this on my blog, I'll tell you now that you can fuck off because this is my blog and I can write whatever the goddamned hell I want, and since no one really wants to listen to me cry and vent at them directly, then fucking deal with it.

Have a nice fucking day.


 
Well. It's tuesday. I'm blogging because I haven't done much in the blog department lately. Yes. So here I am.

I'm going to B and D's cottage for a week with them and Lisa, so I won't be heard from in that time. Not like anyone gives a flying fuck anyway, because none of you read this nor speak to me. So if you don't give a shit, that's nice, 'cause neither do I.

I'm feeling really fucking down on myself today. Maybe the medication dose is too low. Maybe I'm just a fucking whackjob. I don't know. My art sucks, I'm lonely, and I feel depressed. So yeah. Such is my life.

I hate you all. Go away.
7/28/2002
 
Yesterday I went to Toronto with B! We spent all our cash in Kikiwai, where I got volumes 5 and 9 of Fruits Basket, Tohru pin for Firefly, and a Furuba poster. B bought a pack of Furuba cards, a Hatsuharu pin for herself, and a Kyoh pin for me. ^.^

I'm bored so let's look at my playlist.

Nada Surf - Teenage Guide to Popularity
Metallica - Sad But True
Okazaki Ritsuko - Serenade
Ayumi Hamasaki - Boys and Girls (HAL's mix)
Bush - Letting the Cables Sleep (Cafe del Mar remix)
Depeche Mode - In Your Room
Dream - Heart On Wave (HAL's mix 2000)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Daybreak (HAL's mix 2002 -instrumental version-)
Maaya Sakamoto - Cries in the Dark
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Perfect Blue
Ayumi Hamasaki and Keiko - A Song Is Born
Ayumi Hamasaki - Appears (JP Soundfactory Mix)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Audience (HAL's mix 2000)
Ayumi Hamasaki - End Roll (HAL's mix)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Ever Free (HAL's mix 2000)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Friend II (HAL's mix)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Kanariya (HAL's mix)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Vogue (HAL's mix 2000)
Ayumi Hamasaki - Two of Us (HAL's mix)
Bach - fugue in G minor
Beborn Beto - Another World
Bleu - Searching for the Satellites
Bleu - Somebody Else
Bon Jovi - You Give Love a Bad Name
Boney M - Rasputin
Kyoko - Mirai Seiki hi CLUB
Lamb - Gabriel (Cafe Del Mar remix)
Megumi Hayashibara - Sakura Saku
Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Jump Jive and Wail
Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Zoot Suit Riot
Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Jump In Line (Shake Senora)
Yoko Kanno - Cats On Mars
Yoko Kanno - Want It All Back
Captain Jack - Only You
Ayumi Hamasaki - Daybreak (HAL's mix 2002)
DDR - Dam Dariram
DDR - Dive
Depeche Mode - I Feel Loved
Depeche Mode - Dream On
Depeche Mode - In Your Room (live)
Depeche Mode - Into a Darkened Room
Ayumi Hamasaki - Far Away (HAL's mix 2000)
FFIV - Pray
Fruits Basket - Teru Teru Momiji
Fruits Basket - Black and White
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon
Ayumi Hamasaki - Endless Sorrow
Ayumi Hamasaki - Free and Easy
Ayumi Hamsaki - Monochrome
Ayumi Hamasaki - Evolution
Horie Yui - For Fruits Basket (Yui/Tohru Vocal)
Kamelot - Flight of Icarus (Iron Maiden cover)
PuffyAmiYumi - Tokusuru Karada
PuffyAmiYumi - Aoi Ringo
PuffyAmiYumi - Love so Pure
Kamelot - Across the Highlands
Kamelot - Karma
VNV Nation - Legion (anachron)
Maaya Sakamoto - Sanctuary
Madonna - Frozen
Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love
Metallica - I Disappear
Metallica - Carol of the Bells
Metallica - Fade to Black
Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
Metallica - One
Metallica - Waste My Hate
Moxy Fruvous - Green Eggs and Ham
Moxy Fruvous - Spiderman
Moxy Fruvous - King of Spain
Mylene Farmer - L'Ame Stram Gram
Nada Surf - Bad Best Friend
Nada Surf - 80 Windows
Pearl Jam - Jeremy
Lisa Hall - Is This Real
Prozzak - Wild Thing/Poor Boy
PuffyAmiYumi - Ai no Shirushi
PuffyAmiYumi - Asia no Junshin
PuffyAmiYumi - Umi Heto
Reel Big Fish - Take On Me
Okazaki Ritsuko - Sorairo
Metallica - Star Wars Imperial March
Sailor Moon - Moon Revenge
Sarah Brightman - Ave Maria
Sarah Brightman - Eden
Tool - Schism
Schwein - You're My Disease
SES - Dreams Come True
Shakira - Suerte
Cake - Sheep Go to Heaven
Masami Okui - Rinbu Revolution
Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah
Prozzak - Get a Clue
Trigun - H.T (Angel of Distruction Remix)
Kimura Yuki - Twinkle Heart
X Japan - Forever Love
7/26/2002
 
Thank you to Deanna, Brittany, Gerrad, Dan, Mike, and Blair for actually speaking to me on a regular basis. I appreciate it.
7/25/2002
 
Man, my head is all spinny. BUT I FELT THE (need for speed!) URGE TO BLOG!

On tuesday night, B and I went to Toronto for the Puffy AmiYumi concert. XD It was fun! The band that was on before was called Bleu, and they were actually really good. But there's nothing like being crushed in a mosh pit of japanese teens. *laughs* What was really funny, tho, is that when Puffy came on stage, these girls behind me were complaining (in japanese) that they couldn't see. But I was like, 'la la la, I'm a lowly Canadian who speaks only english so I don't understand you and I'll ignore you' even tho I understood most of what they were saying. XD Yumi is CUTE. o.o Ami's cute too, but Yumi's ADORABLE.
So after four hours of bopping around to that, we left and James picked us up. While we were driving around trying to find Jarvis Street, we kept seeing all the World Youth Day pilgrims. Now, if you live here, you're probably SICK AND TIRED of hearing about the damn Pope. So my tolerance for Youth Day is a little thin. Anyway, while cranking Slayer tunes really loud as we pass a group of Pilgrims, James screamed "I LOVE SATAN!!" and it was really funny. XD I told B to yell "I serve satan" and she did (I would have, but we were in the jeep so I didn't have a window to yell out of). James told us to stop after a bit, tho, 'cause he didn't want to get pulled over.

Then we went to B's house and played DDR for another 3 hours. Then B eventually fell asleep, and D and I were making fun of HyperChibiGuy (those who go to the Aesiraven Oekaki know who he is) because he's stupid. And we went on paki.com's desi voice chat and scared everyone away. XD Then we watched Breakfast Television and discovered the joys of the PopeMobile (tm/mc/r/c) and the Pope On Ice (tm/mc/r/c). Then we had to wake B. That took a while, but we tickled her into waking up.

THEN it was off to my doctor's appointment, where me doctor gave me more Effexor and told me that my parents should buy me DDR. XD Why? Because, he said, not only is dancing a good workout, but it hightens the endorphine levels in your brain and it works as a natural antidepressant, so it would help my medication work. XD Now there's good reasoning!

In other news, LotM's birthday was on Tuesday. *lol* So I went to a concert to celebrate! (Not really.)

I'm gonna update my s7 gallery today. Whee.
7/22/2002
 

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

But of course! XD

B spent the night here last night, and we spent a good three hours or so playing DDR in total. Work out and a half. @_@;;; Anyway, she's still in bed and I'm down here because I had to take my medication.

My hair is so weird that I love it. XD

I'm wearing all blue, go me. And I'm amusing myself by downloading Ayu commercials and singing Bjork songs.

SotM: Isobel by Bjork. ^.^ I love this song.
7/21/2002
 
Surveys ripped from Chris-kun!

Name a song that:

reminds you of an ex-lover: aren't any. ^_^;

reminds you of an ex-friend: "Bad Best Friend" by Nada Surf

makes you cry: "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole w/ Natalie Cole, and "80 Windows" by Nada Surf

makes you laugh: "Green Eggs and Ham" by Moxy Fruvous

reminds you of the one you want: "Call Me Call Me" by Seatbelts w/ Steve Conte

you wish you wrote: "Moonlight Sonata" by Beethoven

you never want to hear again: "Bounce" by Danko Jones (sp?)

you want to get married to: "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica (with B singing it. XD)

makes you want to be dead: the english version of "Ojos Asi" by Shakira. Makes me want to commit suicide.

sums up your teenage years: "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam (only minus the actual killing >_>;;;;)

you used to hate but now love: "Black Balloon" by the Goo Goo Dolls

you used to love but now hate: "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2

you like to wake up to: "Isobel" by Bjork

you like out of your parents record collection: ... as much as I hate to admit it, the "Abba Gold" set. >_<;;;;;

you love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: "You're My Disease" by Schwein (thanks, Tony!)

makes you think of someone who died?: "Barrel of a Gun" by Depeche Mode.

you love the video more than the tune: *thinks* Umm..... "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys. *LOL*

reminds you of your first crush: Can't think of one. ^_^;

you love which is from your favorite movie: "Where Is My Mind?" by the Pixies. XDDD FIGHT CLUB!

makes you think of the moon: "Hijo de la Luna" by Sarah Brightman

makes you think of stars: "Space Oddity" by David Bowie. ^_^;

makes you think of the sun: "Cats on Mars" by Kanno Yoko (don't ask me why)

makes you think of the night: "Into a Darkened Room" by Depeche Mode

makes you think of sex: "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.... how could it not? XD "Black Hole Sun" by soundgarden (it's slashy!)

makes you think of being alone: "Emerald" by the Tea Party

you love to hear at clubs: Anything from the 80's. XD


I'll do the second one later.
7/20/2002
 
*ahem*

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, GERRAD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THEY'RE SOLD OUT! HAHAHAHA!!!! WHO HAS TICKETS?!!! B AND I DO!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU LEFT IT TOO LATE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
And your Konamix review really sucked, and it was a) wrong b) had lots of spelling mistakes and c) It's Afronova PRIMEVAL, not PRIME EVIL. And it's the score that unlocks the songs, not the grade. XD

/mocking
7/19/2002
 
*laughs* In memory of me, eh? *laughs more* Even so, I'm glad at least you found it enjoyable. I've seen worse as well, but I was expecting something a bit more striking considering all the hype. Oh well, to each his own. ^_^
 
SotM: Dam Dariram from DDR. Dunno who it's by exactly, I don't really care. I just like the song.

The video to Hamasaki Ayumi's Endless Sorrow is creepy. @_@
 
Man, this medication is really messing with me and it's driving me crazy. It's totally killed my appetite. I'm hungry, but I can't and don't want to eat. It takes me half an hour to eat a slice of plain bread, and I only eat that because I have to eat food right before I take the damn drugs. -_-; It makes it hard to sleep, and I have a headache from clenching my teeth in my sleep because I feel sick. But it's the eating that's bothering me most, 'cause if I can't eat, I can't keep my blood sugar decently even.... @___@;;;

I'm gonna end up dead before I get to see the doctor on wednesday.
7/18/2002
 
Added Mina-chan to my link list. ^_^
 
I'm going to see Puffy AmiYumi in concert! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have TICKETS! Two, to be exact, as one is for B. Okay, I don't physically have them, but they've been ordered and will be picked up on saturday.

Su~i!
7/17/2002
 
I can't remember why, but...
I'm cute and fluffy.


....... X3
 
Girl stuff

WHY DO I HAVE TO GET THE STUPID FUCKING THING TODAY OF ALL DAYS?!! As if the medication isn't making me feel sick enough!!!!

/Girl Stuff

Anyway, I feel violently ill. I feel like I'm gonna puke and my head is swimming. @_@

Went and saw Men In Black 2 yesterday. It was pretty good, actually, I don't see why the reviews slag it so much. I found it as enjoyable as the Crocodile Hunter movie that I saw on the weekend. At the silvercity burger king, the guy working there was having a hard time selling large drinks, and he told me if I would by one he would sing and dance. And I was gonna buy two anyway (for myself and britt), so we got to watch a Burger King employee sing and dance to a jingle based on the Flintstones theme.


7/16/2002
 
Come to me, my little butterfly.


*BOOM!*


...that is all.
 
Guess what everyone? Meg's depressed! And that's official word from the doctor too. -_-; So now I start taking Effexor XR and hope I don't shoot myself or something.

MEG NEED PEOPLE FOR ROLEPLAYING FORUM. GO JOIN. MEG WILL BE HAPPY. PH33R THE CAPS AND BOLD TAGS.
7/14/2002
 
Note to all! Lookie! My RP forum! You can join, but I need to approve you for you to post.
 


Your magical style is Shamanic.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox


....creepy. o_0
 
Addictive.
 



7/13/2002
 
There. Who fixed the 503 error? I did. GO ME.
 
...BLOGGER! WORK!
 
Volume nine of Furuba is out, so I now need 1, 5, and 9. Sadly, I can't seem to get a hold of 1.... but I CAN get 5 and 9 when I go to Toronto with B. XDDDDD

Nothing interesting to say.
7/12/2002
 
Oh. On a happier note. I'll be getting a DDR pad with a PC adapter. W00t.
 
Time for a decent blog entry. As most of mine lately have been CRAP.

My parents have been lecturing me on my habit of sleeping late. Thing is, this is only a once in a while thing, and I only sleep really late when I'm up all night (twice on purpose, twice by total accident). Greh. So dad's all "blah blah you never do anything around the house, blah blah" which I think is really funny 'cause I look after the rabbit, do my own laundry, do the dishes, and whatever else I may be asked (harassed) to do. I know that I still don't do too much, but it's more than he does in most cases, since he never makes his own meals, wash his own dishes, do his own laundry, or even get his own stuff from the kitchen. T_T; Parents are also harassing me to get a job, which I was going to do anyway, 'cept wasn't going to start for another week (I'd like to enjoy some of my summer break, thank you very much).

B's coming over tonight (I think), so I have to clean my room. Which really won't be that big an issue, it's just gathering clothes, vacuuming, and throwing out garbage. And my room's not all that big, so it shouldn't take me more than a couple of hours to get it straightened out enough that I'm not totally embarassed to have a guest in it. My house is such a dump.

No LotM strip yet today. Minor art funk. If I still can't manage anything by tonight, then I'll just post a day late. I don't really think anyone cares that much.

I just watched the first episode of Chobits. I'm not impressed. As with the manga, the art is cute... but that's about it. And GOD is it slow paced. And the theme song is very annoying. I prefer my Furuba. I should also get around to watching the last half of Boogiepop Phantom. Eeee, eventually.

Saw Minority Report. DAMN, that was a gooooood movie. I'm shocked by how good it was! It was creepy, actually, and really well planned out. I reccommend you all see it. That and Lilo and Stitch, which I have seen twice already. Probably going to see Reign of Fire this weekend with mom. Whee.

*waits for laundry to finish* -_-;

You don't realize how many articles of clothing you really own until you have to pick them all up off the floor and wash them. I've done four loads of dark stuff already, and I have about another four to do of lights. Annoying as all hell, I tell you. For someone with no fashion sense, I have a LOT of clothes.

I feel dreadfully lonely. No one even wants to speak to me lately. It's depressing. Not even you, seems like you'd rather RP than talk.

I have to go to the doctor soon. I need to see what he thinks of my depression and anxiety/paranoia fits.
7/09/2002
 
*purrs* Thanks. Hugs are nice. ^_^
 
*laughs* I'll check it out. I hate bad movies, but I love them too.... 'cause I like to rant about stuff. XD Though I pity you in advance for sitting through Cannibal Holocaust. I dunno, maybe it was just us who hated it so much for the boring factor. If I hadn't seen it expecting something more from the hype, I might have liked it. But.... because it's supposedly so notorious, it's a letdown to see what it's really like. -.-;
 
Frecks, I did a pic last night in paintchat too. B and I like seeing KyohxHaru. XDDD
LOOKIE! This took five hours to get right.
KyohxHaru. Meg's art. STEAL AND DIE. T_T
 
I hate people. I hate fairweather friends. And I hate people who make promises and don't keep them. I also hate people who claim to be your best friend and don't talk more than a sentance to you (I'm not naming names, and I have more than one best friend, so guess all you want).

I hate everyone except a select few who have proven to me lately that they are, indeed, my friends. Everyone else can go away.

I hate distances. I hate distances more than I hate most things.

I hate feeling so fucking lonely because of all the above factors and I hate being sick and I hate it so much I want to hurt something!!!!
7/08/2002
 
Dan, that movie is CHINESE! It's a Hong Kong movie. They don't show japanese movies on CFMT. Look here.
 
I'm so amused.
7/07/2002
 
Meg, D, and B's Rant of the Year
Re: Cannibal Holocaust

D: *crinkling paper noises*
B: SUCKED!
D: Worst. Movie. Ever.
Meg: I've seen better movies shoot out my ass.
D: The best part of the movie was when it was over. The complete lack of violence and lack of non sexual scenes really pissed me off! It's really sad when you can tell that the acting sucks by the first ten minutes of the movie. Wait, you know when the best part was? When the guy held his gun at his hip, "comparing sizes". It was the best part. Literally. I can't believe I watched that suck.
B: It sucks.
Meg: What really pissed me off was the fact that all the stupid camera crew didn't do anything to help their friends as they slowly got picked off one by one by the "cannibals". IT SUCKED. I can't believe I spent 5 days downloading this shit. I was expecting lots of violence and some decent, y'know, deathness. BUT there was lots of fucking RAPE SCENES (three or four of them, I think, including tribal-rape-with-a-rock-and-nails), and a retarded amount of dumb music. Like, when the stupid camera crew are burning down the tribe's huts, happy-time music starts playing in the background.
D: I can't comprehend the amount of SUCK.
B: I CAN'T BELIEVE I WATCHED THIS SUCK!
D: It's CRAP! It's complete trash! It doesn't even deserve to be called a film! It's like useless crap that somebody mangled and.... somebody just thrown together, put together, and masquerades as a film when it's just complete and utter shit.
B: If it's the most awful movie in the world, then I'm Bob Dole.
Meg: OH THE FUCKING MUSIC!
D: At the end they were playing the happy time music but there wasn't any killing!
Meg: It was confusing.
D: They actually should have called the movie "jungle jollies" for the sick people. No one wanted to see that amount of jiggling. And why were all the women nude? I MEAN, WHY WEREN'T ALL THE MEN NUDE?!
Meg: And it's sad that the most disturbing scene in the movie was when the one camera man gets captured and his penis gets sliced off. Yes. That was so pretty.
D: The parts where they went to New York. What's the point of that? I don't think anyone listened to those parts. Really, what was that movie about? It just doesn't make any sense. I mean, when he shot his friend, why did he shoot him? Why? Maybe he shot him because the guy was blind and deaf and didn't know he had a gun. Instead of rewinding and trying to figure it out, we just nod and say yes.
B: Suck? Indeed.
D: With all the hype surrounding this movie, you think there'd be more killing, more blood and gore and less rape with nails and impaling, and less nude women with sticks unless those women were beating each other with sticks.
B: And the TURTLE!
D: Don't even get me started on the turtle scene.
Meg: We didn't WATCH the turtle scene. AND THE POINTLESS KILLING OF REAL ANIMALS!
D: the muskrat I can understand. But the pig, they left it there.
B: But the killing of the actual animals, there was no point to that.
Meg: And now we end our rant. A word to the wise, don't waste your time.
D: If you want to see something that completely SUCKS, watch this movie.
B: SUCK.

--end--

(Side note from Meg to Chris: don't bother getting the movie. I remember seeing it on the list you posted of movies you wanna get. Don't waste your money, man. It really is a letdown.)
7/06/2002
 

Behold Hatsuharu and Kyoh's secret love child, Souma Hakyoru.
Steal my art and die. T_T
7/05/2002
 
...blogger's stupid. T_T
7/04/2002
 



Damnit!


 





*bounce*


What fuzzy creature are you?


 
My hair is REALLY DRY and curling like crazy. It's driving me nuts. @_@
 
SotM: Into a Darkened Room, Depeche Mode. Moody music. Meg love.
 
Thank you and you.

........ BORED.
 
Mom and I just had an argument about the woman in toronto who was arrested for making anti-gay statements at the pride parade. Mom says she shouldn't have been charged with causing public disturbance. I had to explain to mom, that according to the charter of rights and freedoms, each person has the right to peaceful assembly and the right for freedom of thought and expression. BUT the woman was expressing herself in such a way that she was infringing on the rights of the homosexuals around. And she was also posing a public threat, since if someone would have gotten offended enough, a fight or even a riot could have started. That's why she was charged, not because she was expressing herself.

Made for an interesting start of a blog, didn't it?

In other news, I'm bored out of my mind. However, yesterday, B and I went to the art store. So I got a new sketchbook. Whoo. So far I've drawn Bradley in it, and that's it. I'm also downloading Cannibal Holocaust.
7/03/2002
 
Sankyuu! XD Isn't it lovely and crackheaded???
 
*LOL* Someone actually searched for LotM fanfiction??! WHOOOO! I'm so popular. XD I played that song on DDRMax2 that you said. Title sure is pretteh. XD
 
I'm tired. I went to bed at three, fell asleep at 7. When did I wake up? 8:30. -_-;
Going to the art store with B. Fun and craziness will probably insue.
Went to D and B's house last night. Held puppies. Was followed around by Ivory. Swam. Played catch with Toad-chan, whose legs Deanna broke and she made his brain bleed. Went and got McDonalds. Didn't get to go to the carwash. Came home. Worked on blog. Got yelled at. The end.
 
It's as done as it's gonna get tonight. Will finish tweaking tomorrow.
7/02/2002
 
New layout is on the way. This one is temporary, and ugly enough to prompt me to actually DO a new layout NOW.
 
I was going to blog about how fun the lock-in was, but depressing news takes over.

We've lost Curtis Joseph. ;___; And now that Cujo's gone to Detroit, we'll probably lose Tie Domi, too. *cries*

It's roughly 40 degrees here right now. It's really hot. And I'm headaching, upset, and my wrist is killing me. ;__;
 



The deranged inner child in all of us

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