Twilight
8/31/2002
 
Ha ha to the stupid people who broke rules.
 
Dan, do NOT e-mail me surveys or I will wring your neck. But I'm bored so I'll do it on my blog.

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? At home with mom and dad and brother.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Just started As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner.
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Blue and gel.
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble or Othello. Or chess. Mmm, chess.
5. YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Animerica or Protoculture Addicts.
6. FAVORITE SMELLS? Lilac, new books, and the smell of this rice and beef stuff my mom makes. *.*
7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? Fish.
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? The carsick feeling I had this morning when going to Toronto. I kept drooling and had to swallow mouthfuls of my own slobber, and it was REALLY gross and warm.
9.WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? How much I hate Imovane tranqs.
. 10. FAVORITE COLOR? Blue, black, purple, blood red, and silver.
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Three at least.
12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD? Marcus Elliot, Marion Bradley, or Simon Ademar.
13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE? Ummm.....nothing.
14. FAVORITE FOOD? Those dimsum noodles I had in the China Town Centre today. And the sweet and sour chicken. *,*
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE CREAM? Chocolate, please. And I prefer frozen yogurt.
16. DO YOU DRIVE FAST OR SLOW? I would drive really insanely fast.
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? About 27 of them.
18. STORMS- COOL OR SCARY? Cool beyond imagination.
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST TYPE OF CAR? Hotwheels. Or maybe Matchbox.
20. ULTIMATE CAR? 1958 black Ford T-Bird with chrome fender and a black and red leather interior.
21. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? David Bowie or F. Paul Wilson.
22. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Bailey's.
23. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Taurus. Whoo. Bull.
24. DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Mmm mmm, yes. ^.^
25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Artist of any sort, preferably illustrator.
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes indeed.
27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OF HALF FULL? I dunno, I spilled it before I could tell.
28. FAVORITE MOVIE ? Fight Club.
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? sometimes, depends on how lazy I am.
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Clothes, a box, papers, sketchbooks.
31. FAVORITE NUMBER? 17. Wendel. Kaworu. It all fits.
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Hockey!
33. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? He's got cool eyes.
34. NAME A PERSON WHO YOU SEND THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Anyone whom is bored and reads my blog.
35. NAME A PERSON WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Whoever doesn't read this.
 
Being non-depressive lately has brought me to a state of decently clear thought. This clear thought has led to much contemplation over the occurances of the past few months, and I have drawn some conclusions. This is what they are.

1) I hate people more than ever.

2) I'm sick of seeing the doctor but I have to.

3) I want to hurt someone as bad as they've hurt me.

For the result of today's contemplations, look here. I am not depressed, just angry. Very, very angry.
8/30/2002
 
I WAS A CHILD BULLY.... SO WHAT?
you're parents were lucky with you. you're sweet.
mischievous. outgoing. and the funnest kind of trouble.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)


8/28/2002
 
Blogger's being a total bitch and it's annoying me.
 
I do.
8/27/2002
 
Page 5 of Monochromatic.
 




you are raine maida. you're the frontman for our lady peace, probably one of the hugest homegrown talents we have in the great white north. you like to take the time to write beautiful lyrics, but the uneducated ear will pick up a bucketful of pretension and may think that you think that you're better than them. you might actually be better, and smarter, than them, but no one likes shit like that revealed to them. your gorgeous features have landed you on the top ten list of hot canadian guys. lots of people like you. lots of people don't. you don't care.



which charismatic canadian musician are you?


So.... I'm a child molester?
8/26/2002
 
I am so angry. Dad just phoned and told me that the drawing I worked four fucking hours on wasn't what he wanted. Too fucking BAD because he didn't TELL me what he wanted. Jesus christ. I'm gonna kill something.
 


As Lord Voldemort, you are extremely intelligent, talented and brilliant. One minor drawback though... you are the personification of all evil. Although you have a clear understanding of moral issues, you prefer to take the more murderous or destructive option. Your strong powers of leadership attracts people, but for all the wrong reasons. Your favourite past-time of blowing up people does not go down well with the neighbours.


....XD
 
I'm avoiding CGing a STUPID picture I did for my dad. Remember how he was harassing me to draw soccer players? Well, I drew one. AND IT NEARLY FUCKING KILLED ME. Gruuuhhh.... *scans it under protest*
 
Hooray. It works.
 
Put up a commenting system. I will test it now.
8/25/2002
 
Julian: Oh, and guess what? Remember the skunk guy? (note: the 'skunk guy' is a dood who was commissioning artists at AN2002 to draw a skunk girl to enter in a contest. Julian saw him again at CNAnime this weekend.)
Meg: yes.
Julian: He gave me a copy of the finished Skunk Book. It came complete with a letter. From his friend who does animation for Nelvana and Disney. He wants to get in contact for you and write you a letter of reccommendation to any university you may want to apply to. He stated that out of all the entries, you were the only one who had a full grasp of form and shape, and that you had more than what it takes to be part of the art industry.
Meg: you're JOKING.
Julian: Nope!
Meg: No, seriously. You're JOKING, right?
Julian: I am not! I need to come and give you your copy of the booklet sometime soon.

This weekend has just been getting WEIRDER AND WEIRDER. Fuck, I'm getting mom to buy me a lottery ticket. What the hell.
 
I forgot to mention that last night I had a WEIRD night. Yes. WEIRD in caps. Doob knows why. o_O;
 
Thank you, Becky. Those sites are helpful, and so are the kind words. Much appreciated. ^_^
 
Well, just watched One-Hour Photo. And GOD, am I impressed. That's one of the creepiest and saddest movies I've ever seen. I thought it would be a plain and simple stalker movie, but it's not. It's very, very good. I reccommend everyone see it. It's not for the weak of heart, though, it's kinda heavy. And creepy. But damn good. *applauds Robin Williams*
 
*HEE* *gives Green Machine a copy of A Clockwork Orange* XDDDDD
8/24/2002
 
Jamie: I'd like to get into design, but I'm not sure how good I'd be at that.
Meg: I'd like to try that too, but.... I'm way too off the wall for it.
Jamie: I look at the t-shirts that are popular all the time and go "I could do better than that"
Meg: I look at t-shirts and think "is it on sale?"
 
This is a really nifty website. There's some really awesome art on there, even if it is mostly photo manipulations. I'm duely impressed.
 
Never go riding around in a car with a guy you barely know at night. Man, I'm glad I'm mostly gay.... -_-;
 
Oh, yeah. If anyone cares, I got a DeviantArt gallery.
 
I hate it. Distance sucks. Try dealing with it for over two years. x_x
 
I am a knife!

what kitchen utensil are YOU?

...it has to be said...

I'M A KNIFE! KNIFIN' AROUND! CUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUT....MMMM....CUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUT!!!
8/23/2002
 
On another note, I really want to see One-Hour Photo. And I want the Bleu CD. And while I'm at it, a million bucks would be nice.
 
Am ungrounded. Went to the doctor. Told him stuff. Spoke for a bit. Went home. Got lectured in the car about the condition of my arm. Downloaded DDR music. Was annoyed that I need to get a new guestbook. Want to jump out of a window.

This is my life. And it's ending one minute at a time.
8/22/2002
 
I would talk to you, but see, I'm grounded off the computer. So I'm generally not online when you are. And as for what you were going to type, then why did you mention it? *blinks*
 
I hope I can swindle change out of mom so I can play DDR....
 
You are 50% geek
You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.

Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.


You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!


Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!


You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com


 
I feel depressed and tired. I need to make a doctor's appointment.
 
Dan, that convention is actually three... the Toronto Comic Con, the Sci Fi Expo, and CN Anime. Info here.
8/21/2002
 
Whoo. I'm so tired. Here's my night in short.

B and I decided to go see a movie, and we walked to Gateway for Ghetto Poverty Movie Night (tm mc r/c). I payed for our admission and our pop and my nachos, and since we were too late to see that stupid Vin Disel movie, we ended up seeing Signs. IT SUCKED. And we had stuff thrown at us for about half the movie since we were laughing and making stupid commentary through most of it. They stopped when I flipped them off. Then we went back to B's house and played DDR for an hour or so, and I beat .59, Cutie Chaser, and B4U on maniac. Yes. And my nails are black, and I look like Sarah Conner. It's really amusing.

Do I have anything else to say?

Oh. I need to draw and upload more LotM, but I'm banned offa' the net for a week. (I'm at B's house right now nyo.)

Meg's Art Corner -- I bet you thought it was dead. BUT IT'S NOT.
Brad looks like Hanajima. Don't ask.
AkitoxYuki. It sucks but it was fun to draw.
Random genderless person.
DDR kinda raver-ish Trenton.

I go die now.


8/20/2002
 
Thank you very much!
 
Why would I care about a Tokyopop contest? *blinks*
8/18/2002
 
In other news, I drew a really scary self portrait last night I wrote ALL over it in copic. It's SCARY. I'm not even gonna scan it, it disturbs me so much.
 
*snuggles you* Aww. Puffy allergy ridden Tony. Picking apples. Ye gods, that's a funny mental picture.
 
Last night dad went ballistic on me for little to no reason at all and claimed that I'm banned off the computer for a week. I dunno if that was the booze talking or not, but either way, if anyone cares enough to wonder where I am should I not be online as much, that's what's up. My dad's good at being a prick. After his screaming at me and calling me names, I spent a good twenty minutes in my room hyperventilating and another fifteen in the bathroom cleaning and bandaging the new cuts on my arm. I slept about two hours. This is the last thing I need. Last night was a bad night in general. I'm so glad to know that I make people so angry or so upset all the time. So glad indeed. Maybe sometime in the next week I'll actually hang myself in the bathroom or something. T_T; Might do the world a favour.
 
Whee! Someone other than the four people I talk to on a regular basis actually looked at Monochromatic! Here. *gives you a Kynder plushie* I get told a lot that I look like people, don't ask me why. People randomly come up and ask me if I'm so-and-so. And it's like "no..." so I must have a Tyler Durden-esque clone wandering around bent on world domination or something similar.
 




Er, congrats, you're Louis de Pointe du Lac from Interview With a Vampire! You'll live in misery and with enormous regrets for the rest of your life. Oh, and you'll be alone. That is, unless Tom Cruise comes and finds you, which actually wouldn't be so bad...



Now I'm tempted to draw that. I'd make a good Louis. Or possibly a good Amadeo.
8/17/2002
 
Song survey!

1] makes you want to dance:
Healing Vision.

2] makes you happy:
Um.............

3] reminds you of an ex-lover:
None I can think of.

4] reminds you of an ex-friend:
Bad Best Friend, by Nada Surf.

5] describes your relationship with your parents:
I Feel Loved, by Depeche Mode (listen to the song in order to get this).

6] makes you cry:
80 Windows, by Nada Surf.

7] makes you laugh:
Knifin' Around, by Space Ghost. XD

8] makes you ponder life:
Sheep Go To Heaven, by Cake.

9] Says a lot about you:
Jeremy, by Pearl Jam.

10] reminds you of your significant other:
Lately? My December, by Linkin Park.

11] you wish you wrote:
Zoot Suit Riot.

12] you never want to hear again:
Teenage Dirtbag, by Wheatus.

13] you want played at your funeral:
Haunted, by Poe.

14] you want to get married to:
Nothing Else Matters, by Metallica. Only sung by myself and B. XD

15] makes friends think of you:
I have no idea.

16] you once loved but got sick of:
Ballroom Blitz, by Sweet.

17] you love by a band/artist you hate:
You Give Love a Bad Name, by Bon Jovi.

18] you sheepishly admit to liking:
Only You, by Captain Jack.

19] makes you want to mosh:
You're My Disease, by Schwein.

20] you'd do anything to see played live:
Hallowed Be Thy Name, by Iron Maiden.

21] reminds you of your childhood:
Got the Time, by Anthrax

22] sums up your teenage years:
Jeremy, by Pearl Jam. Again.

23] most people like but you hate:
Korn and Slipknot.

24] you love the lyrics of:
Endless Sorrow, by Hamasaki Ayumi.

25] you used to hate but now love:
Orion 78. XD

26] is best played in the car:
Running Free, by Iron Maiden.

27] you like to fall asleep to:
Condemnation, by Depeche Mode.

28] you like to wake up to:
Anything loud and not rap.

29] you like out of your parents record collection:
The Saturday Night Fever LP. XD

30] you love that you wouldn't know if it wasn't for a friend:
The Burger King song. XD

31] makes you think of someone who died:
Gabriel, by Lamb.

32] you love the video more than the tune:
Points of Authority, by Linkin Park.

33] reminds you of your first crush:
Can't think of anything.

34] is good to listen to whilst making out:
uhhhh.... Tuk Tuk Tuk! XDDDDD

35] you love which is from a favourite movie:
Where Is My Mind?, by the Pixies.

40] makes you think of sex:
Closer, by NIN. ^.^;;;

41] makes you think of being alone:
The theme from Requiem for a Dream.

42] makes you smile:
Dragonfly, by Smile.dk (bacon makes me feel so hot!)

43] you love to hear at clubs:
Southside, by Moby.

44] is not your "typical type" of style but you love anyway:
Searching For the Satellites, by Bleu.

45] reminds you of your best mate:
Nothing Else Matter, by Metallica.

46] reminds you of your siblings:
Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Iron Maiden.

47] reminds you of the one you want but can't have:
Nothing.

48] you can sing really well:
Nothing.

49] from favorite performer:
Hallowed Be Thy Name.

50] a great song you didn't get to list for any other question:
Wasting My Hate, by Metallica.
 
Meg's Comic Spotlight!
Yes, new feature.
Here we have Monochromatic's chapter 1 title page. Ph33r 7|-|3 70|\|35.
 



I'm an Angster! Which role-player are you?
Take the quiz here.
Created by Khaydarin9


Well, no shit, sherlock.

8/16/2002
 
Tony, babydoll, darling, sweet heart. I LOVE YOU. You are my hero. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH AND WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN. NOW. *downloads the screentones*
8/15/2002
 

I look so serious I could be the next Scully.
8/14/2002
 
DisorderRating
Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:High
Schizotypal:Very High
Antisocial:High
Borderline:Very High
Histrionic:High
Narcissistic:Very High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:Moderate

-- Click Here To Take The Test --



Felt like taking it again. XD Same results.

 
Quote of the day:
Tony: 'm tired >_O
Meg: how come? *pets*
Tony: and I had a weird dream about being in paintchat with you, david bowie, and billy idol.
Meg: *LOL* Tell!!!!!
Tony: not much to tell, they just kept drawing lewd pictures of each other O_o
 
You and I need to talk.
10:39 AM
8/13/2002
 


What Was Your PastLife?

 
Damn, those tranqs work. @_@ I slept 12 hours last night. God, I needed that. Hasn't done anything for my mood, but I don't feel totally run down.

I got ONE request to post Monochromatic. And strangely enough, not by any of my friends. T_T Probaby because I don't have any. Moving along, to comply with the request, here we have the first three pages that make up the prologue/teaser.

Page 1
Page 2
Page 3

Start the celexa today. Want to bet it makes me sick?
8/12/2002
 
Dood, you didn't screw up. It's Pat that screwed up. It's sad when he has to be told to phone his supposed best friend. I know you meant well, it's okay. ^_^
 
Wasting time until doctor's appointment.

Ripped from B who ripped from D:

Sex // Female. Gender is undetermined.
Birthday // May 1st, 1985.
Where do you live // In a stupid town.
Where else have you lived // ....Acton? For two weeks?
What school do you go to // Good old CHINGUACOUSY. *watches americans try to pronounce that and die from coronaries*
What are your school colors // Red, green, and white.
Nicknames // Meg, Megarina, Gem, Megster, Moob, Meg-chan, MacDuff, Muggish McWhacko (I can go on for hours, folks)
Where were you born // Here. -_-;
What hospital // William Osler/Peel hospital.
Hair color // This funky wash of orange that goes bright blonde.
Ever died your hair // For four years.
What color // Many colours.
Hair length // Short.
Eye color // grey like my dismal soul.
Height // 5'6 last time I checked.
Have any pets // Two cats and a rabbit. And a brother.
Whats their names // Cleo, Buffy, Momiji, and John.
What do you fear most in the world // Lately? Just about everything.
What do you regret the most // See previous question.
If you could do anything without consequences, what would it be // Shoot myself in the head and be done with it.
Do you have braces // No, but I do need them in a bad kinda way.
Do you have glasses // Yes. I love my glasses.
Are you good at school // Yes, but I'm lazy and depressed so I don't do the work.
Shoe size // Uhhh, men's size 10, I think.



*Favorites*
Color // Black, dark red, blue, purple.
Teacher // Either Mr. Staples, Miss Lande, or Mr. Apostolou. I dunno. Prolly Mr. Staples.
Class // English.
Day of the week // Thursday.
Holiday // Christmas. Because we get three weeks off school.
Season // autumn. When EVERYTHING DIES! OHOHO!
Month // November.
Sport // ... dodging corpses in a three wheeled car without a bumper or windshield on an icy road at night.
Movie // Fight Club, Lilo and Stitch. ^_^
Actress // Uhhhhhh..... I don't really like actresses all that much.
Actor // I like Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp!
T.V. show // Whose Line, the Simpsons.
Food // Anything non-greasy.
Drink // Coke, red powerade, green koolaide, Welch's grape juice.
Band // Depeche Mode, Prozzak, and Iron Maiden.
Male singer // Bruce Dickinson!
Female singer // ....Hamasaki Ayumi.
E-mail buddy // Don't have one.
Saying // "Moltar! Put your pants back on and direct the show!" or "I love you so much that it's time for you to go to sleep."
Two Words // Bite me.
Brand of shoes // Adidas and Doc Martin.
Radio station // 97.7 htz fm! YAY FOR IRON MIKE BENSON!
Room in your house // I hate my house.
CD // Either the first of my two Bruce Dickinson CDs, my Linkin Park CD, or my DM singles collection CDs.
Pizza Topping // Chicken and pineapple and green pepper.
State // New York. It's close to home.
City // Toronto! Toronto is fun!
Letter // S. Because it starts the phrase "shut up".
Number // 17!
Cereal // Oatmeal Rasin Crisp.
Ice cream flavor // I prefer frozen yogurt. Chocolate.
Video game // Dance Dance Revolution 5th Mix (who saw that coming?)



*Your friends*
Best friend // B and D and Lisa.
Spend most time with // B and D.
Who do you have the most inside jokes with // My brother.



*This or That*
Pretzels or Potato Chips // Pretzels. The stick kind!
Jeans or Khakis // Jeans please. They can get dirty and no one will notice. >.>;
Comedy or Drama // Drama. Because I can make a comedy out of it if it SUCKS.
Computer or TV // Computer, dear GOD.
Gold or Silver // Silver. Gold is UGLEH.
Outgoing or Shy // For other people? I prefer outgoing.
Tall or Short // Meg has a failing for short people.
Breakfast or Dinner // Dinner, since my breakfast always consists of Yop.
Day or Night // Night. *hisses at sunlight*
Radio or Cd's // CDs.
Internet or Phone // *stabs the phone* I HATE YOU!
98 degrees or O town // What the hell is the difference?
Happy or sad // I'd like to be happy.
Guy or girl // ..... girl. XD
Sexy or Cute // Cute.
Tuff or wimpy // A happy medium between the two.
Strong or weak // Strong.
Funny or hilarious // Either.
Summer or winter // Winter.
Love or lust // Happy medium.
Friends or family // Friends.
Car or truck // Car.
Dog or cat // Kitty.
Walk or run // Crawl.
Inside or outside // Inside. Light burns me. Damn vampire palor.
Hurricane or Tornado // Hurricane. XD
Thunder or lightning // Thunder.
Rain or snow // Rain.
Hail or sleet // Sleet.
Sunny or cloudy // Cloudy. With rain.
Loud or quiet // Either, depending on my mood.
Mcdonalds or Burger king // Burger King.
Hardee's or Arby's // Arby's.
Rebel or goodie goodie // REBEL!
Coffee or tea // Mocha.
Coke or pepsi // Coke, for chrissake.
Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper // Dr. Pepper.
White chocolate or normal chocolate // Dark chocolate.
Britney or Christina // Shoot them both and bury them at sea.
Chocolate or vanilla // Chocolate.
Diary or journal // Journal.
Writing or typing // Typing, since writing hurts my arm.
Cold or hot // Cold.
Pen or pencil // Pen.
Candle or insence // Candle.
Plain paper or lined paper // Plain.
Curly or straight // straight.
Blanket or sleeping bag // Both! I have them both on my bed.
Shower or bath // Shower. Baths are only good if I can't breath or if I feel sore or sick.
Body wash or soap // Soap.
Purfume or Body spray // Neither. I prefer the SCENT OF ME! Oh, shut up.
Wal-mart or target // Wal-Mart. I get free stuff from them. And a discount.
American Eagle or Abercrombie // Both SUCK.
Hamburgers or hotdogs // Hot dogs, BBQ style.
Great America or Universal Studios // ..........Universal Studios.
Pochahontas or Mulan // Mulan could kick Pochahontas' ass twenty times before she hit the ground.
Swimmer's ear or ear infection // Runny nose.
Pop tart or toaster strudels // Neither. Sugary crap. x_x GROSS.
Chicken or turkey // Chicken. Sweet and sour chicken. With rice.
MTV or VH1 // I'm a poor canadian. I've never watched either of these channels. MuchMusic.
Shorts or pants // Pants.
Tank tops or t-shirts // T-shirts.
Mandy moore or Jessica Simpson // There's a difference?
Rich and dumb or Poor and smart // I don't really care.
Markers or colored pencils // Markers.
Boxers or briefs // Boxers.
Nike or Adidas // Adidas.
Mercedes or BMW // Jaguar. XD
Army or Navy // ........ I want a gun.
Orange or grape // PURPLE (RIGHT B?!!)!!!
Lime or lemon // 7 Up flavour.
Striped or plaid // PLAID!
Innie or outie // Innie. Outies are weird. o_O
Hot tub or sauna // Hot tub. Saunas make me pass out.
Land or water // Water.
Sneeze or cough // Sneeze. Then I can blow snot on people if they come too close.
Skittles or M&M's // Skittles. But only for the green ones.
Truth or dare // Truth.
Letterman or Leno // Chin. (Leno.)
SNL or mad tv // Both suck.
Drummers or guitar players // Guitar players are hella sexy.

*Which way would you spell it*
Megan or Meghan // Megan
Lacey or Lacy // Lacy.
Steven or Stephen // Stephen. WITH A PH!
Kurt or Curt // Kurt. K is fun.
Mark or Marc // Mark. Marc is so froofy.
Brandi or Brandy // Brandy.
Eric or Erik // Eric.
Corrine or Carine // Carine.
Kari or Carrie // Carrie. Go psycho at the prom and destroy.
Jackie or Jackqui // Jackie.
Deseray or Desirae // I dunno, they're both ugly versions of the same ugly name.
Ashley or Ashleigh // Ashley.
Their or there // Their.
Two, too, or to // TOOOOOOO!
Here or hear // HERE. NOW.


*Love life*
Do you have a crush // Yes, sort of. It's deeper than that tho.
Whats his or her name // Jamie.
How old are they // 21.
How long have you liked him or her // Two years, give or take.
If you could kiss anyone in the world, (you could bring them back to life if they are dead) who would it be // Jamie. And Kyoh.
If you could date anyone in the world, (you could bring them back to life if they are dead) who would it be // Jamie. And Kyoh.
Do you prefer being the dumper or the dumpee // Neither.
Do you think there is a person for everyone // I dunno. Maybe.
If yes, do you know who yours is // I hope so...
Do you believe in love at first sight // No.
Have you ever been in love // Yes.
What do you think love is // I wish I could live without it.
Do you have a b/f or g/f // Yup.
Do you want one // I'm not sure.
How long have you been together // A year and a half.
What do you like about your crush or b/f, g/f // She's smart. ^.^
When was your first kiss // When I was twelve.

*Past*
First grade teacher's name // Mrs. Richardson.
Last words you said // "Nine o'clock."
Last song you sang // Knifin' Around. XD
Last meal you ate // Yop twenty minutes ago. Thus, breakfast.
Favorite childhood cartoon // Ninja Turtles. XD
What did you hate most about school // ALL THE IDIOTS WHOM ATTEND IT WITH ME.
Last person you flipped off // Probably John.
Last song stuck in your head // Spiderman Has Made You Gay.
(*goes to the doctor*)
(*returns*)
What line/verse // "I see a perfect forest through so many splintered trees."Haunted, by Poe


*Present*
What's in your CD player // Queen of the Damned soundtrack.
What color sox are you wearing // Invisible.
What's under your bed // Lots of junk. And probably a few new animal species.
What's the weather like // Sunny, bright, too freakin' hot.
What time did you wake up today // 7 am.
Did you think it was earlier, later, or on time // Later.

*Future*
Who do you want to marry // I don't believe in marriage.
Are you going to college // Probably, as little as I want to.
If so, how long do you want to go // five years.
Where do you want to go // Ryerson or Sheridan.
What is your career going to be // Something to do with design, writing, or illustration? ^_^;
Where are you going to live // I want to move to Washington (state).
How many kids do you want // I hate kids. Birth seems like a lot of pain to go through for something that'll leech off you and not appreciate you until you die.
Where do you want your honeymoon // A little place called Anywherebuthere.


*Have you ever*
Smoked // Never.
Been Drunk // Once.
Been high // No.
Done drugs // No.
Skinny dipped // No.
Stole // Yes.
Stayed up all night on the internet // Many a-time (and twice on sundays).
Met someone off the internet (in person) // Met Lisa, Jenn, and Jamie that way.
Been in a fist fight // A few times.
Been in a cat fight // With a guy. *LOL*
Wanted to kill someone // Everyday.
Fell off a chair // *lol* Many a time!


*Other*
Do you like your handwriting // No, 'cause I can't read it and I write backhanded.
If you could be anybody, who would you be and why // ....Bob Dole. 'Cause he's so cool. XD
Are you picky // Depends.
What makes you cry // Lately, everything (or nothing, actually)
What makes you mad // EVERYTHING.
What do you think of Eminem // He's a moron and I hate his guts, but he's got one really effective gimmick going so good for him.
Do you like cartoons // Only if they're Japanese or geared towards adults.
Do you believe in heaven // No.
Do you believe in God // There's B. And there's Steve-o.
Do you think there is a hell // It's called Earth.
Do you believe in the devil // No.
When you get mad, do you swear a lot // Hell yes.
Got milk // No, but I have yop.
Do you have a magic 8 ball // Somewhere. I have three.
Ever worn black nail polish // Lots of times.
Do you have your own tv and vcr // Yes.
Do you see dead people // Yes.
Are you a good speller // Usually, yup.
Do you ever steal anything from hotels // *LOL* whenever I step foot in one. XD
What is your last name backwards? // Maharg. *LOL*
Do you want to be the first person on the sun when you grow up? // No thanks.
Pimps// My friends sometimes pretend they are pimps.



*What Do These Words Make You Think Of*
Frog // TOAD-CHAN!
Carol // Greg Proops.
Solider // James in a wetsuit.
Star // MOON.
Ticket // movie.
Breakfast // ....medication.



*This or that*
Florida or California? // Florida! ORANGES!
Sprite or 7-UP? // 7 Up.
Mountains or the beach? // Mountains. Beaches = sun = BAD.
Savage Garden or BB Mak? // Savage Garden! *sings "Break Me Shake Me"*
AIM or MSN Messenger? // AIM, because MSN likes to crash Explorer.
Geography or Math? // Geography. At least that will come in handy someday.
Leonardo DeCaprio - hot or not // totally NOT because he's nothin' but a truckload of HAS-BEEN UGLEHNESS.
Private schools or Public schools? // Public. More chaos, more fun. XD
Email or Phone? // E-mail. Phones suck ass.
Baseball or Basketball? // Basketball, because I'm actually good at that sport.
Do you like quieter people or extremely outgoing people? // Depends on the situation.
Sun or Moon? // Moon. The sun should explode.
Christmas or Your Birthday? // Christmas. I like giving presents.
Blue or Purple? // Blue. (BLUE AS THE NIGHT!)
Creed or Blink-182? // Both bands should be shot.
Gelly Roll pens or Milky Pens? // .......bic ballpoint.
Gap or Limited? // Burn.
Bath & Body Works or The Body Shop? // Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Australia or Africa? // Australia!! STEVE IRWIN!
Flirting or a good conversation? // Good conversation.
Which is scarier: tornado, hurricane, or earthquake? // Earthquake. o_O Air moves. Ground is not supposed to.
Wavy/curly hair or straight hair? // On me, straight.
Gelled hair or un-gelled hair (for guys)? // I don't care.
Nintendo 64 or Playstation? // Playstation. N64 sucks.
Guinea Pigs or Hamsters? // Rats.
Bikinis or Tankinis? // Shorts and a t-shirt.
Hawaii or the Bahamas? // Hawaii. Elrond.


Doctor put me on Celexa and gave me sleeping pills. Whooo. Have to see him in ten days.

8/11/2002
 
Update on condition. New cut on arm. Cried for an hour, locked in my room. Considered the meaning of my life. Found none. Wanted to end it. Thought better of it. Went downstairs. Was depressed. Still am. Want to die. The end.

Doctor tomorrow.

Other non depressing happenings.... finished the three page teaser to Monochromatic. If anyone wants to see, let me know and I'll post it here. Also found a $10 phone card in my room that's still valid and of full value. But I seriously doubt that I'm gonna use it because I make for crappy conversation.

Pat tried phoning me on friday, I forgot to mention it. He was all "I'm sorry for not calling you". I don't want to deal with him right now. It's too late for an apology, his lack of speaking to me has kinda already done it's damage. Because, you know, it's really pathetic that people I don't even know e-mail me and tell me that I have their support and I can cry to them if I need to vent, and my own supposed best friend for 10 years doesn't even pick up a goddamned telephone and call me to say hello until his other friend tells him that I'm upset he hasn't called me.

Though I must take a moment to thank Tony for being a sweetheart and letting me spill my guts to him, without giving me sympathy. He just said these nice little words that are such a relief, I wish I heard them more often: "I understand." Thank you so much, Tony. *hugs*

Haven't done anything productive today. Just moped around. Watched Shanghai Noon (again). Cried a lot.

I'm gonna shut up.


8/10/2002
 
Quick blog.

Went to Kikiwai with Deanna, Brit, and Lisa today. Got manga (Angel Sanctuart 13, Furuba 1, and Karekano 1) and some cards (furuba). Bought stuff for Firefly and Lieko. Had chinese food. Came home. Watched 4 episodes of Space Ghost Coast To Coast. Was content until about 10 minutes ago. Mood swing. Cut up arm. @_@; Doctor on monday, doctor on monday.
8/09/2002
 
b>I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Mage


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.


Deity:
Solonor Thelandria is the Chaotic Good elven god of archery and the hunt. He is also known as the Keen Eye, the Great Archer, and the Forest Hunter. His followers respect nature, and only hunt when needed, but are quick to defend the forest from intruders. Their favorite weapon is the bow, and they tend to be extremely talented with it. Solonor Thelandria's symbol is an arrow with green fletchings.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)



Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- X (1)
Neutral Good ---- X (1)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXX (5)
Lawful Neutral -- (-3)
True Neutral ---- XX (2)
Chaotic Neutral - (-1)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXX (4)
Neutral Evil ---- X (1)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXX (3)

Race:
Human ---- (-4)
Half-Elf - XX (2)
Elf ------ XXX (3)
Halfling - (-2)
Dwarf ---- (-1)
Half-Orc - XX (2)
Gnome ---- (-5)

Class:
Fighter - (-1)
Ranger -- XXXXXXX (7)
Paladin - X (1)
Cleric -- XXX (3)
Mage ---- XXXXX (5)
Druid --- XXXX (4)
Thief --- (-2)
Bard ---- XXX (3)
Monk ---- X (1)



8/08/2002
 
Testing again.
 
Test.
 
Playing with the template a bit. Don't mind any quirkiness, okay?
 
I must be sick. I just vacuumed the house without being asked or having a reason to.
 
Meg: I dreamt that we went to kikiwai again! @_@
D: XDD
D: i dreamt something retarded again, but i dont remember.
Meg: I dreamt that we went there, and there was a bunch of people there (it was a bigger store for some reason). I talked to one of the girls at the cash register and asked if they had any furuba.
Meg: She told me they had sold out of everything, and I was really upset.
Meg: BUT! I found the soundtrack CDs hidden behind a stack of manga, so I was going to buy them, but some kid came and stole them and bought them instead.
Meg: So we left, and went out to the streets of toronto and somehow ended up at lakeshore.
D: I hate dreams like that, you have what you are looking for in your grasp, but then it gets taken out of your grasp and youre like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! even though its your own dream
Meg: And we got on a boat and sailed to some other country.......
Meg: And there were people singing a lot and you said it was gay so we went back to toronto.
D: XDDDDDDD
Meg: And then we sat at lakeshore and started yelling at some guys in wetsuits.
Meg: The end.
D: ain t that the TRUTH.
 
GRUH, I haven't slept a full night in a week! Goddammit. I need to see the doctor.

In happier news, going to kikiwai tomorrow. XDDDD~~~~ Furuba stuff for me. FURUBA I SAY! Perhaps some Angel Sanctuary, too. I dunno yet. XD
8/06/2002
 
Okay, I'm having a moment of clear headedness, so let me explain this before I can't. Everyone, listen up. This is really important.

If I'm acting mean, violent, bitchy, or extremely upset, it's not something I can control. My medication has stopped making me physically sick, but it's made me into a total psychopath when it comes to moods. I'm prone to being angry, violent, depressed, and withdrawn. I suggest anyone and everyone leave me alone unless I approach you first. I can't see the doctor until monday morning, so I'm going to have to get through this without hurting myself, which will be a very difficult task. So please don't give me sympathy or even speak to me unless I okay it. I need my space right now, and if I say anything to anyone that's hurtful, please don't take it personally. I don't mean it. I just can't control myself right now.

I'll keep you all posted on what's up when I can.
 
Which 'fallen one' are you?

Take Which
'fallen one' are you?
Quiz by Xera


8/05/2002
 
I hate blogger.
 
It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
your fucken stupid if you havent grown up from then than thats your problem but why the hell would you add me to your list think i wanna talk to someone who is like 16 or 17 and still hasnt grown up from 12

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
or 11

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
Naw, I just thought it'd be fun to say hello.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
well you must be a loser if you still remember that and if you still get off on it

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
casue true that was like 4 or 5 years ago

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
so get over it

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
This coming from someone who's a drug addict from what I've heard? And not too bright?

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
you dont know shit all about me so stop talking

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
I know that you apparently don't know how to use capitalization or punctuation in your sentances.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
what the hell does that have to do with anything you are the one thats dumb and has no life if you still remember making fun of someone 4 years ago like grow up and get your head out of the gutter

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
*laughs* I'm amused because you're so offended. See, I found out that a few of my friends knew you and I was rather surprised. Heard that you're a major loser yourself.


It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
so dont trie and cuss me

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
I'm not vulgar enough to use harsh language.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
hahaha your dumb your friends that sit in there house all day and hang out on there computer what kool friends you got there

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
and why you talking off my name for like you know me you dont know me so stop saying you do you only wish you could have as many friends as i have

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
I don't care about number of friends. It's quality over quantity, you know. And I can't help but wonder what kind of things you've done lately to make you so wonderful compared to me. I'm not even making comparisons, it's you that is. XD

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
yeah well how the hell could you remember making fun of someone after 4 years how lame is that?

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
I didn't remember it until a few days ago when my friends were telling me about some idiot named "Carla McDonald".

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
who the hell are your friends deanna and britany?

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
What's it to you?

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
WOW YOU KNOW 2 OF MY FRIENDS THAT WERE MY FRIENDS BACK IN GRD 4 AND 5 I HAVE MATURED NOW AND YOU MAYBE SHOULD TO

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
I'm not the one getting all offended. That's pretty childish.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
im not getting offended i just dont like to talk to stupid people that could remember something so dumb and also that you call me a drug addict im not a drug addict so i smoke weed big deal

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
how is that being a drug addict

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
Smoking weed is pretty stupid. It kills brain cells (and it shows in your case).

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
yo who you getting your talk on wit you dont fucken no me so dont try and cuss me do you get pleasure out of saying yea i made fun of a girl 4 years ago and her name was carla mcdonald and now shes a drug head like cmon listen to how stupid you sound

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
See, if I stopped getting such a reaction out of you, I'd stop talking to you. Because I'm personally finding it really funny that you're so upset.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
im not upset im just saying liek why the hell would you add me to your list i dont wanna talk to you after you used to torment me back in like grd3

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
I added you because I thought it'd be fun to get you riled up. Like you are right now.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
yeah only someone with no life like you would make a stupid move like that

I've been screaming for a long time, so I think the neighbors want me dead. says:
Just someone who's currently taking a break from work, actually. I'm amused. You type like someone with an IQ in the negatives.

It DoEsNt MaTteR aBoUt ThE LENGTH or SIZE It OnLY MAtterS HoW mAnY TiMeS YoU cAn MaKe It RiSe says:
yo your fucken stupid shut up you dirty slut
 
I'm home from my trip to the cottage. It was fun. Fished, swam, ran around, drew stuff, played games, laughed at James, took pictures.

Feeling awful and sick and miserable and depressed and I want to cry and curl up under a rock. I want to die right now.



......

I don't think the medication's working.

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