Twilight
10/31/2002
 
Morning Blog!

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEN!!! best holiday of the year, man. XDDDD *puts finishing touches on Dejiko costume*

I have homework to do that is due first period. OH WELL.
10/30/2002
 
Morning blog.

Rggg, I didn't want to get up this morning. I'm so tired. Oh well. My hair is Dejiko green, and tomorrow is halloween. Wheeeee. I did a semi sloppy job dying my hair, so it's lighter at the back, but I wanted to stop because I did it right after bleaching. I didn't wanna overdo it. I'll dye it again tonight.

Redownloaded the Sims. I am once more hooked. Jamie and I live in a house together and it's funny. XD
10/29/2002
 
I AM GOING TO KILL WHOEVER IS CAUSING THE FUCKING EVACUATIONS BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO CUT INTO MY FUCKING HOLIDAYS!!!!
 
Patrick Moore Plays the Xylophone! *cracks up* That probably amuses me WAAAAAAAY more than it should. I love Weebl's animations. XD Deanna, you HAVE to see this. XDDDDD
 
SotM: Beloved, by VNV Nation. Tony's corrupted me. Or, enlightened me. whatever. Same thing.
 
Morning blog!

Today is a late-start day for us grade 12s, so all is well, and I am content. I slept like a log. @_@ I think I would have qualified as legally comatose.

Tonight I getta see Dr. Handleman. Which is good, 'cause he's nice and he doesn't give me that I-disapprove-of-your-life look when I tell him about how I feel. Yay!

Again? Tony's out of bandwidth. o_O And I was all geared up to post on L'Eglise, too.

no one blogs anymore! C'mon, people! You may have lives, but humour those of us who don't by giving us something to read! ^_~

I gotta get my Halloween costume done by thursday. I'm worried. I also have to finish reading my ISU novel by friday, and I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen. I'll have to talk to Mrs. Crawford. I just can't concentrate for long, I hope she doesn't ream me. o_o;

OW! Buffy's climbing on my shoulders and the pads of her feet are COLD on my neck.
10/28/2002
 
ARUGHAGDAKOPGEKP!!!! NIRVANA!!! Man, I'm glad Cobain is dead, his music blew and I hate it.
 
What an interesting day. *sigh*

Well, I woke up at 8:25 am because my clock decided to die and the alarm didn't go off. Somehow I managed to get myself together and out of the house and to school by 8:45, which is a damn good amount of time considering it takes me fifteen minutes on average to walk to school. Anyway, got glared at by Mr. Gill and felt stupid because the class took up a test that I was away for and the teacher wouldn't let me retake. Left class, had lunch. While I was at the servery getting my fries and orange juice, the crew I hang around with got kicked out of the hall so we had to sit outside in the cold. We watched as a firetruck and an ambulance pulled up to the building. We were informed that some people had trouble breathing, but that's it. No evacuation. What a let down.
Then I had literature class, where Mrs. Crawford had a university lecture style class and we had to take notes. I took 4 pages of notes on stuff I already know. Eh. Anyway, yes. That's what happened there. Then it was to writing class, where Mr. Burgoyne was dancing around to Lady Marmalade and impersonating the poses of the people in my sketchbook. And just before we were to start actual work, an announcement came over the PA and said for us all to evacuate the building. ARUGH. So I hung around outside for a while then when I could no longer feel my fingers, I decided to go home.

The end.
10/27/2002
 
Okay, to go with my novel in the works, here's one of Theo's songs (as in, written by him for his band; we're not there yet in the story, but he's a lead singer for a band! SO THERE).

Breakdown (twenty to one)

Here is our situation
A broken dream
A boy torn to pieces
Split at the seams

Nothing but anguish
Nothing but pain
And nothing to lose
But nothing to gain

Something wasn't right
He wasn't what he was supposed to be
So he broke down
The odds were twenty to one
That his world would collapse
Twenty to one
Breakdown

He moved away
Started a new life
Made new friends
Buried his strife

Never let anyone in
Never put on a frown
Let them all think you're okay
Then break down

Something wasn't right
He wasn't what he was supposed to be
So he broke down
The odds were twenty to one
That his world would collapse
Twenty to one
Breakdown
 
Good, mom cheered up.
 
God, my mom is being stupid. I've been asking her for three or four weeks to help me with my halloween costume, and now she claims I haven't even made an attempt. GEE, WHY? Because I don't have a pattern, and when I asked her for material, she got exactly what I told her not to get. I also asked for big sliegh bells (the ones the size of your fist) and she gets these things about the size of walnuts and says "they're the biggest they had". And apparently now she's mad at me for being ungreatful. Why, I told her what I needed and she didn't listen. ARUGHGH! And I ask her today to help me with a pattern and she jumps all over me saying that I don't do anything for myself blah blah blah. Which is STUPID because I'm not asking her to MAKE the outfit for me, just to help me with a pattern for the fucking DRESS. Jesus christ. So by the looks of things, on the last year I get to dress up for school, I won't get to because my mom's being a bitch.
10/26/2002
 
Okay, I forgot to blog this last night. I found it SO funny. Here we go.

You know you're perverted and obsessive when you watch The Lost Boys and when Sam pulls Mike in through the window and Mike says that they won't tell their mom, you're really hoping they kiss even though you've seen the movie a million times and know they don't.
Yaoi incest is good.
 
I am dead. My nerves are going psycho. I hurt. I hate people. I am depressed again.

But I have chinese food. So it's a little better.
10/25/2002
 
O_O Dumbledore is DEAD!!! *CRY*
 
This is amusing. XDD Turn up your speakers and check it out.
 
Morning Blog!

Click here to see me eat brains.

Really nothing to say again. I'm cramping, I have a cold, and I'm worried. Other than that, nothing. I'm planning work on my Halloween costume this weekend tho. Anyone up for Trick-or-Treating with me? XDDDD

Read me. You know you want to. You also know you want to give Meg feedback with the comment function on this here blog. RIIIIGHT?? *glower*
10/24/2002
 
Tony: I've been working on parts of my halloween costume
Meg: Ooooo. ^.^
Tony: yuh. ^^ I'mma be raven king!!
Meg: *LOVE* I molest you.
Tony: YEE XD
Meg: *molests the toneh*
Tony: XDDDD
Meg: LOOOOOOVE!
Tony: Allison will kill you XD
Meg: she'll have to catch me first! YARRRR! *molest*
Tony: XDDDDDD
Meg: XDDDDDDDDD
Meg *molests more for good measure* I'm cashing my molestation points.
Tony: Ahahah. you have those?
Meg: I earned them by my faithful oekaki nazi devotion to you.
Meg: *bats eyelashes*
Tony: XDDDD
Meg: XD
Meg: I worked hard for those points!!! I even gave up airmiles for those!
Meg: I have this overwhelming urge to stick a worm into an electrical outlet.
Tony: O_O
Meg: LOOK! IT'S MR. T!!!!!!!
Meg: *runs around*
Tony: O____O
Tony: You're channeling Kitch
Meg: YES. XD
Meg: I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY, 1 2 3 4 5 6 SWITCH! CRAZY GOING SLOWLY AM I 6 5 4 3 2 1 SWITCH!
Tony: XDDD
Meg: The drugs have worn off. CAN YOU TELL?
Tony: MAAAAYBE
Meg: It's really not that noticable. I mean, I just have a satellite dish sticking out of my forehead and a rabid eel tied around my ankle.
Meg: LOOK! IT'S MR. T AGAIN! HERE T! HERE T!
Tony: O_O
Meg: ..... and remember, kids--- no one is allowed to touch you in your bathing suit area.
Tony: o_o
Meg: *cackles*
Meg: Okay, I'm done.
Tony: *hides*
Meg: Awww. I scared dah Toneh?
Tony: *nod* *doesn't have a Tabris to hide behind*
Meg Awwww. Here, shiny. Makes it all better. *offers a shiny*
Tony: ^_____^! *play*
Meg: *settles back with a nice hot cup of liquid morphine and watches*
Tony: *bouncehbounceh flapflapflapPLAY*
Meg: *sipsipsip* @______@
Tony: *FLAAAAAAPFLAPFLAPFLAP!!!!*
Meg: ..... ^___@ *plays with eel*
Tony: OOOH IS THAT TASTY?! *bites the eel*
Meg: It's tasty like glove compartment.
Meg: (I make SENSE)
Tony: MMMMMM*GNAW*
Meg: eel: ATEGAIJOGDKPHLPEAHAEHOAEO^$@^@$&$!!!!
Tony: XDDDDDDD
Tony: *gumgum* :3
Meg: Eel: Tony, I am your uncle bob dole!
Tony: UNKIIIEEEE!! *gnaws with love*
Meg: Eel: *dead*
Meg: DeadBobEel.
Tony: ^_^
Meg: Your love is dangerous.
Tony: oh dear. XD
Meg: your dangerometer is on high, man.
Tony: Cool. I have one of those?
Meg: You do. It's on your arm. Didn't you notice?
Tony: *pokes arm*
Meg: I have one too. It's on my ear.
Tony: OOOOoooo. *POKE*
Meg: Ear: GEAJGGPKTony: O_O
Tony: ...*gnaw*
Meg: Eeeee my precious ear!
Tony: XDDDD *BITES IT OFF LIKE MIKE TYSON*
Meg: .......*looks all big bad and black like Holyfield*
Meg: which is a good trick 'cause I'm short, weird, and white.
Tony: XD *spits out Meg-Ear*
Meg: Ear: *cry*
Meg: My ear. ;o;
Tony: XD
Meg: *sob*
Tony: Awww. *gets EarGlue*
Meg: You realize this is going on my blog. XD
Tony: AHAHhhahha, okay XD
Meg: XDDD
Meg: we're scary scary little men.
Tony: Yes.
Meg: *holds a moment of silence for our sanity*
 
Posting my current writingness here for Toneh and anyone else to read. Those who do read it, comment?
 
My guts hurt like hell. It's driving me nuts. I had a doctor's appointment, but I didn't go. Why? Because I was too exausted. I'll make one for next week. Meh.

Ummmm, I didn't go to school today. I was out. Yes. Brother drove me places.

I am tired. My printer is out of ink, so I have to print up my Utopia essay in the library tomorrow. Fuck.

People avoid me. People don't like me. I try to be nice to people sometimes. I don't keep friends very well. I hate me.

Dan, leave me alone, I don't want to speak to you ever again. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours.
 
Morning Blog!

ARUGHGHHGHGHHH! CRAAAAAMPS!! *dies* I gotta see the doctor about this. *makes appointment*

Guess what? I have nothing to say!

10/23/2002
 
Writing another story. Dunno if it's gonna turn into anything, but it's interesting. It's making itself up. I have no idea how it's gonna go.
 
Whee.
 
courtesty of Googlism:

meg is pregnant /
meg is very easily entertained
meg is desperate enough to
meg is a cutie
meg is still in
meg is a
meg is a giant monkey
meg is the best
meg is
meg is pregnant
meg is very
meg is desperate enough to date
meg is lehetne enni
meg is still in posted november 12
meg is no theory
meg is a little too naive
meg is for sale
meg is a fraud
meg is not responsible for loss or deletion of any data stored on the kit system
meg is not responsible for a customer's lack of awareness regarding changes in terms
meg is the victorian word for a halfpenny and that is precisely what robert's tinwhistle cost to buy
meg is looking at a slow paced future
meg is her oldest daughter
meg is like
meg is a six
meg is confronted with a barrage of questions she doesn't want to think about
meg is a possible successor to the throne of the magic world
meg is a 12 ft high piece of red sandstone standing about 240 ft from the circle of "daughter" stones
meg is a challenging technology
meg is one with the wildlife
meg is the older
meg is mom to two daughters
meg is practical designing every workshop and keynote to help teachers make it happen in the classroom
meg is a self
meg is dispatched
meg is planning to have her breasts enlarged to keep russell happy
meg is not often the first name that comes up when people talk about favourite characters or events
meg is the wife of a pharmaceutical mogul who has been cheating on her
meg is sure to make you laugh
meg is a blacksmith and has been drafted by her future mother
meg isn't really an action figure
meg is pretty friendly when strangers approach her
meg is a bit difficult to understand
meg is jelent
meg is apoligising to ben because she hadn't realized that 'ben' had been derek
meg is totally in panic
meg is explicitly not about the creation of whole new standards for educational metadata
meg is fabulous
meg is a 3
meg is hard to
meg is a tall girl with mouse brown hair
meg is the daughter of two well educated teachers
meg is more than happy to help
meg is on one hand slipping away from the hands of a bunch of ph
meg is more mature that she is made out to be
meg is marad
meg is the tallest of the 69 stones
meg is vásárolhatja könyvünket
meg is a ultimately sensitive magnetic sensor referred to as squid
meg is the ideal system to connect the local or wide area network to the internal can network of a machine
meg is the mother of 7
meg is given a chance to redeem herself
meg is superb
meg is very active in volunteer work
meg is terrorizing wildlife and humans all over the pacific
meg is állapítja
meg is a young schnauzer/terrier mix with yorkie coloring
meg is lehet úszni ezt a pénzt
meg is an endearing and passionate person
meg is a rainforest scientist and her specialty is the very top of the rainforest
meg is a little more tepid about
meg is valósítsa a filmet
meg is an "l" judge and one of only a
meg is a pet quality
meg is pregnant"
meg is to interrupt the distribution of controlled substances into asheville and buncombe county by investigations directed at major drug suppliers
meg is a credentialed career master
meg is the "landtechnik" magazine
meg is jött
meg is in constant need of volunteers
meg is a speaker
meg is bírálta
meg is connected to because
meg is interested in the way educational technology units are created and are being incorporated into university structures
meg is comprised of
10/22/2002
 
ARUGH, I'm glad you got the reference, but if I want a shirt that says that, I'll paint it with my own damn blood.

YES, THAT IS WHY I SAID THE PHRASE IS CLICHE. JESUS CHRIST, NEXT PERSON TO MAKE AN INANE COMMENT WILL DIE. FUCK YOU.
 
I'm not even gonna bother with the morning blog title. I haven't slept at all, and so it feels like midnight to me. Which is technically morning, but fuck you, I don't care.

I'm going to rant now.

I am sick of people. Sick of them. Sick of them to the point where I want to shoot myself to get away from them. Contrary to how some of you treat me, I am NOT stupid or retarded, you morons. Because I'm seeing a fucking shrink and taking medication for a few mental conditions doesn't mean I'm stupid. I could run intellectual circles around you. Oh yes. So fuck those people who treat me like I'm some sort of sevant. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and your fucking dog too, you bastards,

Second part of my rant is the fact that I hate my dad. Oh, I do. So much. He makes my life so fucking miserable. I want the bloody hell out of this place. He keeps telling me that I'm "dillusional/stupid/moron/idiot/liar/etc". I'm fucking sick of it. I don't care if he's joking anymore. I've put up with this bullshit my whole fucking life from that asshole, and I'm not in the frame of mind where I can take it. Jesus, I wish I lived in washington now. I'd lock dad outside with a sign that says "sniper, shoot me!" on his back. For chrissake. I asked him if I could move into the basement, so I can set up an art studio and stuff, and his response was "clean it up first and then we'll talk." You know what that means? It means "clean it up, I'll think about it for ten seconds and decide no, then use it for myself." So I said for him to give me a yes or no answer. So next he says "clean it up so it's spotless, then you can move in after my inspection." I asked why, because I'm not going to move into the basement unless it's clean anyway, and he says "because you're a slob and would move in there without cleaning it up. I know you."
I am sick of hearing him spout off that line. Sure, he knows me. SUUUURE he does. Yup, he couldn't name three of my friends or tell you what grade I'm in, nor could he tell you my grade averages, my favourite foods, my favourite books, or what I like to do in my spare time. And yet, he knows me. Apparently if he knows me, I sure as hell don't, 'cause we're obviously talking about a different me. Dickhead.

Next rant of the morning is my fucking body. I hate it. I want to mangle it and kill it. If it weren't mine, I'd probably butcher it and donate it to science. Why? Because I'm a week behind on getting my fucking period (yes, you needed to know that), my nerves are DEAD and I'm convulsing about 12 hours out of every day, my lungs hurt, my ankle keeps snapping, my arms are in pain from CT, my eyesight is awful, and I'm a goddamned hippo. Shit.

And yet ANOTHER rant is the fact that I have a few people who tell me they love me and don't do a very good job of showing it. You know what the nicest thing someone's done for me lately is? Zalina phoned me to see how I am 'cause I wasn't at school yesterday. Thanks, Speller. That really did cheer me up. You're the first person to do that in months. But I'm sick of it. People tell me they love me, and I have so little to go on for whatever reason that I just want to say 'screw this' and throw in the towel.

And lastly. Yes, my art is not perfect. Hell, it's not all that good. But for chrissake, at least give me some credit for taking TEN YEARS OF MY FUCKING LIFE TO LEARN HOW TO DRAW. I have been working at it for a VERY long TIME. VERY LONG. YES. So when I'm proud of something, and I show it to you and hope for some feedback, BE NICE AND FEED MY FUCKING EGO BECAUSE IT'S LACKING AND I HAVE ART COLLEGE TO APPLY TO YOU MORONS. Yes, I'm being snotty right now, but I get such monotonous comments on my stuff. You know, people say "that's good/nice" in a totally blank tone, or they asked me if I copied or traced it, OR they say some cockamamie bullshit that totally changes the subject. I have no self esteem people. A little support as I finish myy portfolio would be nice. Just someone saying "you may not be perfect, but you're good enough to go places!" would be nice and HONEST instead of people saying "nice/pretty/cute" all the fucking time.

OH! Yes! And my next complaint! YES I AM FULL OF THEM TODAY. I've been building up to this since my last serious anger spurt a few weeks ago. I've realized that friendship seems to be kinda decreasing again. No one wants to do anything with me on average, 'cept D (I love you D). Even Britt never wants to go anywhere or do anything with me anymore. John takes me out to the art store. That's about it.

Halloween is next week and my costume hasn't even been started. I have to have a costume, but I probably WON'T have because I SUCK.

I hate you all. Go to hell and rot. And while your at it, have a nice day.
10/21/2002
 
Morning Blog

I hate myself and I want to die. Yes, that phrase is cliche, but it's true.

At least I'm good for something, huh?
10/20/2002
 
Tony: Ne, meg, wanna paintchat?
Meg: o_o SURE! I hear satan rummaging for his parka.
Tony: XD
 
Oh boy, do I know how you feel. *is sick and doesn't want to do work*
 
Watched Ringu. Was impressed. T'is entertaining. Wrote a review of it for the someday-to-come movie review site.
 
Oh... does anyone wanna buy a Two-Mix CD? I have one, and I don't much like that band. $10 and it's yours.
 
What am I doing up at 5:30 in the morning on a sunday? WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. That stupid mocha frap screwed me over. I'm so not used to caffiene anymore. It's really quite sad. Anyway, I haven't slept. I went to bed at 2, and from then 'til about 45 minutes ago I tore my room apart and rearranged my shelves.
 
Wheee! I have Ringu! *goes to watch*
 
Ahhh, man, just got back from having a kick ass time with some of my guy friends. *props to Mike, Mike, and Chris* Went to Mike Jensen's house and watched some of the hockey game, then we eventually gave up, and got pizza. XD We talked a lot, and then Mike Manson drove us all to Starbucks, where we each got lovely caffinated beverages. Mike Manson bought me a mocha frap. Mmmm. *__* And we all oggled a humvee, and then went back to Jensen's house. We went to the basement, where the two Mikes played on the playstation and Chris and I talked guitars, and I played Pokemon red on the gameboy. And played with the doggy. And then I played against Manson on NHL '98. I lost 10-3. XDDDD It was great. Then Mike Manson drove myself and Chris home. The end. I had fun. And I'm amped from all the caffiene.
10/19/2002
 
Oh!!!! I should work on Monochromatic!!!!! *reminding self*
 
Okay, it's technically morning, but I'm not gonna have a morning blog since it's the weekend. SO HA ON YOU! HA HA HA!

It's the 19th... time is really flying by. I'm totally appalled by this. I just hope time keeps going at this speed so the semester will end. FAST. I'm working my ass off for good grades. I'm desperate for a scholarship. I'll never be able to get one, but it's really worth a try. Maybe I'll be able to get into Sheridan. Maybe, maybe, maybe. >_<; *works obsessively on portfolio* Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe...... if I try hard enough.... maybe....

I'm in a decently good mood, though I think I'm catching a cold. My mom is sick, so I forced her to use my potterbrat blanket and my giant blue hippo to warm her up and cuddle. It works, you know. Giant blue hippos cure all.

I'm really tired. I slept badly last night, having had some strange dreams that kept waking me up. All I remember about my dream is that I was in an airport and something happened and my ear got torn off. Don't ask me, I don't get it either.

Di, if you're stupid, I'm mentally challenged.

There are five people outside of my family that I would willingly give my life for. I love them very much. I want them to know that. Even if I act like a bitch or don't seem to care, I really do. I'll do anything for you. So to Jamie, Deanna, Britt, Lisa, and Matt; thank you guys for being there when I need you. It means the world to me.

I'm looking forward to seeing Dr. Handleman again. It's nice to have someone to talk to whom doesn't intimidate you in any way.

Meg wants to go to Curry's and get new pens, but Meg believes her mom is broke. *pout* Oh well. Meg needs a job but lacks the social resolve to get one. >_o Meg downloading Ringu. Meg go draw.

SotM: In Your Arms Tonight, Tommy Gnosis (from Hedwig and the Angry Inch). I love this song. I love all of the songs from Hedwig. I love them because their lyrics are beautiful and tell a story, and the music is lovely. I love.
10/18/2002
 

 
I am kisoka's knife. XD
 
Morning Blog!
IT'S FRIDAY. Thank GOD. This week has been hell. I'm stressed out and tired and I want to sleep for a few days.

Survey ripped from Gerrad.

Full name: Meg Graham. All you need to know.
Single or taken(if taken by who): taken.
Sex: Female. But my gender is not.
Birthday: May 1st, 1985.
Sign: Taurus
Siblings: John and Dani
Eye color: Grey
Hair color: naturally? Blondish. Right now? Silverish blue and white.


R e l a t i o n s h i p s....
Who are your 8 best friends?: Deanna, Britt, Lisa, Johnny, Tony, Matt, Mike Jensen, Jamie.
Favorite place to shop: The chinatown centre. KIKIWAI!
What do you have if anything pierced?: I have my ears pierced.
Do you do drugs?: Never in my life, thank you very much.
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Pantine Pro V Clarifying.
What are you most scared of?: Myself.
What are you listening to right now?: "Hot One" by Shudder To Think.
Who was the last person that called you?: Um..... is that a trick question? No one calls me. I think it was probably the technician for the Travelling Musician. -_-;
Where do you want to get married: Anywhere but a church.
How many Messenger buddies do you have online right now?: on my new AIM account, 1.


F a v o r i t e s ..
Color: black
Number: 17
Food: TACOS!
Boys name: Bradley or Durante. I like Jesse too.
Girls name: Isobel, or Maya.
Subjects in school: English! *love*
Sport(s): floor/ball hockey, soccer, and sometimes I secretly enjoy bowling. If that's a sport.


H a v e Y o u E v e r...
Given someone a bath?: my nephew, when he was little.
Made yourself throw-up: Yup.
Gone skinny-dipping?: Nope.
Been in love? Yup.
Cried to get out of trouble? ...probably. Don't all kids? @_@


F i r s t T h i n g T h a t C o m e s T o M i n d ...
Red: velvet
Cow: Hatsuharu
Zebra: cat
Herbal: tea
Conspiracy: Repairman Jack
Muffins: Lucas (don't ask)
Hippo: House hippo!
Macaroni: rocks.

F i n a l Q u e s t i o ns ...
Do you like filling these out?: Yup! They're fun.
What is the last film you saw at the theatre?: Red Dragon.
Favorite cartoon character?: Souma Kyoh!
What do you have for breakfast in the morning?: nothing. I don't much like breakfast.
Who would you hate being locked in a room with?: anyone. Dislike people.
Who is your crush?: don't have one.


W h i c h O n e o f Y o u r F r i e n d s....
Is the craziest? ....HANA! *laughs* AISHITERU!
Is the loudest? i dunno, they all can be loud at times
Is the smartest? they are all smart goddamnit!!!
Most likely to be a model? None of them. I don't associate with posers.
Is the best artist?: Tony. By FAR.
Would you want to be locked in a room with: Jamie. ^____^
Is the shyest?: probably Heidi.
Would do anything for money? Me. *laughs*
Who is the most athletic? probably Matt or Amy.
Creeps you out? Probably me again. I count as a friend of me! *LOL*
Makes fun of you the most?: Hmm. No one, really. People don't make fun of me anymore.


10/17/2002
 
Morning Blog!

I'm TIRED. Seems that I am all the time. But at least it's not the kinda tired I was yesterday; yesterday I couldn't function at all. This is just the kinda tired that will go away when I get some fresh air in my lungs. I am, however, in cynical bitch mode. Yup.

I had really weird dreams last night. There was something about me capturing a dragon, and there were these elf-like people who were really cool and saved me from a cougar. Then there were these scary kids that tried to have me killed. Mreee. It was interesting. I kept waking up and going back to sleep, tho. It was one of those nights that didn't seem to end (which is good).

I'm hoping for an evacuation today.

My hair has turned this weird shade of silverish blue. It's like the blue version of Doob's previous gunmetal green hair. It's strange. But neat. I like it.

Rrrrm, what else to say? I want to go to Toronto. I want cheap chinese food and manga from kikiwai. I wanna go with B. Next time I go to kikiwai, I'm hoping to snag furuba 3 and 4 for someone who shall remain nameless.

I'm tired. But I think we already covered that.
10/16/2002
 
Okay. Okay. I'm annoyed. I am SICK of hearing about Kingdom Hearts! SICK OF IT! Next person who mentions that stupid game to me gets a kick in the head!!! I don't care about bloody video games 'cause I'm fucking broke and I don't have a gaming platform. So don't blather to me about games!!! I play DDR and Bust-a-Move. That's IT. Unless you're talking about one of those, screw it, I don't wanna listen.
 
Just for fun (and boredom's sake), a list of songs that remind me of RP characters lately.

Hallelujah, Rammstein - darkworld Maxwell. It just sounds like him, lyrics and all.
In Your Arms Tonight, Tommy Gnosis - see above. Max to Sael.
Bittersweet Symphony, the Verve - Saine. Definately Saine.
Exquisite Corpse - Max, lightworld version.
Angry Again, Megadeth - see above.
 
Mornign Blog

I warn you, any typing errors here will be leftr as is because I'm whacked out on antipsychotics and I'm too tired to read over what I write toe changea it.

Went to the psychiatrist last night. He's really nice, and he's so adorable. He looks about 20, and he's puppydog cute. And copletely unintimidating. I'll be seeing him once a week for a few months.

Okay. I'm gonna be late if I don't goe now. I leave.
10/14/2002
 
Whoooo. Taking a break from my History project. I've been working on it for four hours. Yes, that's right. Four hours. EUgughghghasghahygawgjklaew! *dies*

I'm wearing piggy slippers because my feet are cold. Plush piggies!

God, I have nothing to say.

Ummm.... breaks are good...and uh... I'm gonna go play a game or something.
10/13/2002
 
Mrrrrr. I'm TIRED. I dunno why. Probably because I've eaten a LOT today (being thanksgiving and all here in Canada). Anyway, not much happening right now in the world of Meg. Meg is tired and anxious and terrified over school.

Tonight I'm supposed to be seeing Red Dragon again. YAY!
10/12/2002
 

Snake is the legendary hero who has thrice saved the world from the menace of Metal Gear in the past.
An infiltration expert who always completes his mission no matter how difficult the odds. Former member of FOXHOUND,
now a member of "Philanthropy", an anti-Metal Gear group. Lets also mention that he masturbates to Asian pin-ups. I had to, I'm sorry. ^_^;


Which character from Metal Gear Solid 2 are you most like?
made by

10/11/2002
 
Well. Now starts a grand length of super anxiety that will last me until tueday night. Why? I have to face two of the things I fear the most on tueday--- hospitals and psychiatrists. >_<;;;;;;;;; I have an appointment at the hospital to see some psychiatric doctor guy at 1 in the afternoon on tuesday. I don't want to go. I'm already feeling sick because I hate hospitals so much, they make me feel like I'm gonna throw up, and I hate head doctors. >_< God help me...
 
I'd help if you wanted.
 
WOAH! Oooookay. You are now firing a gun at your IMAGINARY FRIEND near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERIN!

..... I watched Fight Club last night.

Tell him you did it. Tell him you blew it aaaaaall up. That's what he wants to hear.
 
Morning Blog.

It's friday. Fridays are good. The amount of work involved is not.

Have fun. ^_^ (And yes, I hate people, especially because I am one.)

O___O NO! Katka! Don't be dead!!!!! *shakes you*

News says that the first Repairman Jack book is officially in the production stages for a movie. FINALLY! WHOO! And there's a new Jack book out! HOORAY! Now I just need to get a copy of Hosts and all will be well.

My strangeness weirds people out. .__. I'm gonna lose friends because I'm a freak, more so than usual. >_<

I'm done.
10/10/2002
 
Morning Blog!

Mrrrg, my will to live hurts. Yes, I make sense in my country.

Anyway. As I said quickly last night, there was another evacuation yesterday. I'm kinda afraid to go to school and find out if we'll have another. It's such a bloody waste of time. Goddamn, I feel sorry for Mr. Rozario. This must be driving the poor guy crazy. And I bet all the emergency crews hate our guts.

SotM: Aces High, by Iron Maiden. Not a fantastic song, but it's a good one. Most of their songs are good as long as Bruce is singing. ^,^ Mmmm, BRUCE. This song has similar subject matter to Silver Wings. I like that.

Well, not much is going on right now. It's a half day, a thursday, and I'm already bored. I have three classes today, but I think I won't be going to my last one because I feel gross and I want to go home. And I need to make a doctor's appointment. I dunno. We'll see how I feel. Rrrg, no 2nd period. No lunch until noon. This is bad when you're used to having your lunch at 10:00 in the morning. They condition us to get hungry at stupid times.

I'm having another killer feeling of depression. This is getting rediculous, I have to get my sorry ass to see my doctor. I don't think the 40 mg dose of Celexa is doing as much as it should. I'm still prone to major anxiety, too. This just isn't good. >_<;

Hmm, what else to discuss? Oh yes!

The Sniper attacks in Maryland are getting really interesting what with the murder of another victim at a gas station. Okay, I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but it IS interesting. This guy (for lack of a better descriptive word) is not only keeping a rather wide range for a serial killer, but he's also a HELLA good shot with that rifle. By the time the person gets hit and looks around to see who did it, he's gone because he was so far away from the target to begin with. Not to mention that his accuracy is amazing. And this whole Tarot thing has me wondering (as I discussed with Tony)--- this may be a nice revelation as to the sniper's intelligence. If it was the Death card (not a death card, but THE Death card), the killer has NOT done his homework. The Death card doesn't really mean DEATH. Now, if it were the Tower card..... that'd be different. I wish they'd just say what it is instead of being vague. But apparently it was a leak and they're really pissed about it.

I'm still working out my plans for my National Novel Writing Month submission. I'm too antisocial to even visit the forums for the NaNoWriMo site, so I'm kinda staying in my corner. Yes. Anyway, I think the story will be about Max. I think. I dunno yet. We'll see. It's coming along, tho, but the actual writing process hasn't started yet since the beginning date is November 1st.

Halloween is coming soon! I love Halloween, it's the best holiday of the year. I can dress up all I want and no one will call me a freak. I think I'm gonna make a Deijiko costume for Halloween this year. I dunno. I was supposed to go to the RHPS fest in TO, but I dunno the details about it yet. We shall see.

You know what generally annoys me? Group role playing. I hate forum based RPs. I know of only one that I like; L'Eglise. It's fun. I like that one. But they generally annoy me because people, from my experience, fight more than they RP. Thankfully, there are no fights on L'Eglise.

It's 8:00, so I gotta get dressed. Mrrrg. Hate school now. Hate. Hate. Maim. Kill. Destroy.

*cuddles signed copy of Fight Club and goes off to get ready for school*
10/09/2002
 
Fast blog before bed. Myyyrrrh.

Yesterday was a school evacuation. Today there was another. WHY? Pepper spray. I know because I BREATHED IT. IT HURT.

I still can't draw worth crap. It's annoying. ._.;;;

There was something I meant to say, but I can't recall what anymore. No one ever said I was smart.
 
Morning Blog!

It's WEDNESDAY! You know what that means?? The week is half over! HALF OVER!!! Weeks go by so fast lately. It's almost creepy how quickly the days swoop by. It's like day starts--- and then the day's over. Weeeird.

Anyway, today I am much less depressive. Hana cheered me up a fair bit with her hugging and chewing on me. *nods* And Blair got my copy of Fight Club signed by Chuck himself. *___*

I am, however, in a rather great deal of pain. I'm gonna be limping my way to school. I fell down 8 times yesterday, and hurt my foot kicking Gerrad (it was worth it). My knees are killing me. @_@ I also got to witness the dubious grossness of Dan and his girlfriend Amanda playing tonsil hockey. GROSS.

Anyway. I'm really out of things to say. Uhhh...... so I'll go.
10/08/2002
 
Blair is the sweetest guy EVER. EVER I SAY. O_O
 
.....I'm not even going to bother with the morning blog header this morning. I want to go back to bed and DIE.

This is the typical aftermath of a day of anxiety attacks; depression. So you get to put up with my inane depressive ramblings for this morning.

Suffering an overwhelming feeling of lonliness, as usual. I hate this feeling. This is what happens when your closest friends don't spend much time with you (or can't) and your girlfriend lives in another frickin' country. I feel really left out. People have friends to hang around with, and no one wants to hang around me or generally even hold on a conversation with me. People fling two sentances of conversation at me, I respond, and then they talk to someone else. Or people pester me to draw things for them, write things for them, or whatnot. Right now, the only person who makes any effort to speak to me is Deanna. I really appreciate that. *hugs doob* It's really sad. I don't even get any pleasure from my art or from writing or even role playing anymore. I just suck at all of it, and I want to give up and crawl under a rock and die. I'm sure there are people who want me to do as such, too.

I can't help but wonder how christmas will go. I'm terrified about it already. I probably won't have a job because I don't have the nerve to go look for one alone, and I'll probably get neglected and forgotten as usual. It happens on my birthday and on christmas. Gauranteed. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.

Well, I've gotten two e-mails regarding LotM. Shows you how many people were following it. I'm this close to quitting. I swear to god I am. Screw hiatus.

In other non depressing news, I managed to get my futon back into couch mode last night. Makes for much more sound sleep; no place to toss and turn. And it's warmer when you can wedge yourself in the nook in the bed. Buffy is trying to sleep on my arms right now, and is making goat like noises when I move. She's a retard. Cute, but a retard.

I want a dog. Dogs give you love even when everyone else hates your guts.

I feel neglected. ._.;;; And really uninspired.



10/07/2002
 
I had an interesting day. -_-;

I'm tired and I'm going to bed. I have nothing to say and nothing to post.
10/05/2002
 
YOU HAVE BEEN BUSTED FOR ILLEGAL POSSESSION OF CRICKETS.
You naughty boy.
 
Yarr.
 
Okay, before a certain dickhead deletes his post, I will paste it here for all to read. Yes. Dan, regarding my post on not touching me, wrote this:

Well yeah, I guess that was warented. Of course poking me when you say not to touch you makes you fair game, so BAH! Not that you do it every time though, I'm not saying that. Anyway yeah, I'm just surprised that came out today, when not only did I never touch you, but I didn't even say hi, so it's totally unprovoked.

In the end I have this to say:



FUCK YOU! Yes...thats what I plan to do, I plan to FUCK you, to RAPE you right in the STAIRWELL, or actually in the FUCKING MIDDLE OF ENGLISH CLASS. It's a good thing you don't trust me. *nods and refuses to post on this further*


Dan, that is not something to EVEN JOKE ABOUT YOU STUPID BASTARD. I don't know if you meant it or if you're just being a motherfucking prick, but the fucking subject IS NOT ONE you joke about. For chrissake. I'm reminded of the time last year when you said you wanted to rape me and pinned me against the wall, and how I ran and clung to Matt and him and Mike beat you up. I'm not even going near you. You're disgusting.
10/04/2002
 
Attention world! Matt blogged!
 
Well. Today was friday. Still is, technically. Interesting it was, too. I've learned a few things that I should reflect upon.

1. Mr. Burgoyne is really insane. Presto majesto.

2. Hana's my knight in shining armour. She defended me from potential beatings from Amy.

3. Matt's headphones can blare music loud enough that I can hear every word in Of Wolf and Man clearly.

4. I hate Bernard Marx. More than I did last time.

5. I'm glad I'm not a Gamma.

6. I'm torn between choosing sides and being neutral in a fight between two people (neither of which is me).

7. Thanatos (If I Can't Be Yours) is catchy and makes me all creative.

8. My binder smells like basement.

9. Apparently, I'm a good poet.

10. When suffering a bad headache, do not read ISU information. Headache will worsen. And possibly make you comatose (or even dead).

I'm done for now.
10/03/2002
 
I love the layout. It's SO TRUE.
Ripped from B, we have a survey thing.

~THE BASICS
1.Full Name: Meg Graham
2.Birthday: May 1st, '85
3.Age: 17
4.Zodiac Sign: Taurus
5.Where you live: the Brampton projects. >_>;

~WHO
6. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to?: Um.... B. Because she would like it, and would probably roll around in all my stuff screaming about Hugo. That's the kind of effect I want my death to have on people.


7.If you had to go live in borneo for the rest of your life and you could take one person on this earth, who would you take?: In BORNEO??!! I'd take um... someone fat so I can revert to cannibalism if I need to. So I wouldn't take my brother or Jamie. XD


8.Who is the one person that you could stand spending a straight 24 hours with and not get the slightest bit annoyed with?: B and Hana and Jamie and Deanna and Lisa. YES, ONE PERSON.


9.If you woke up one morning and noticed that your leg was missing who would be the first person you would call?: If my leg were missing, I'd be like DAMN IT NOW I'M AN AMPUTEE AGAIN, IT'S LIKE BACK IN NAM! NOOOO CHARLIIEEEE!!! NOOOOOOOO--- and then I would have a heart attack and die.


10.Let's say your dad came in your room one day and told you that you had to get married in the next week but you can pick the person but you have to stay with them for the rest of your life no getting out of it, who would you pick?: Jamieeee! But knowing my dad, he would be very opposed to that.


11. What if you woke up tomorrow and you were someone else completely, who would you be?: ...Bob Dole.


12.What would be the first thing you would do if you woke up one morning and you were the opposite sex?: I'd be HAPPY and change my name right away and I'd be the damn sexiest boy EVER~! (I can dream.)


13.If all of a sudden you had the ability to do one thing better than everyone else, have one amazing talent, what would it be?: I would be able to sing. ._.;


14.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change(personality and looks)?: Ummm... I'd be a little slimmer. AND MALE.

15.What is your dream career?: Early retirement. With lots of cash.

16.What is the one thing you just have to do before you die?: Find Sebastian and gut him with a pocket knife.

17.If you could be a member of any band that has ever exsisted, what band would that be?: Iron Maiden. *____*

18.What is the thing you care about most in your life?: *points at Jamie* Apparently, she's now a 'thing'. (j/k)


~WHICH ONE
19.winter or summer? Winter. Snow forts. XD


20.the beach or the mountains? Mountains. Beaches are no fun unless there are maneating sharks.


21.pop or punk?: ...... *looks at everyone* If I liked pop, I'd ask you all to kill me with very blunt, heavy objects. PUNK.


22.rock or rap?: Rock, dammit!


23.new york or L.A.?: New York. *___*


24.milk chocolate or dark chocolate?: Dark chocolate. Mmm. ^_____^


25.dogs or cats? Cats.


26.britney or christina?: Kill them both and grind them up to make my bread.


27.leno or letterman?: Chin.


28.mtv or vh1?: ...... MUCHMUSIC!

29.country or classical?: Classical. Preferably Beethoven, Debussy, or Mozart, please.


30.day or night?: Night. Day BLOWS.


31.lake or ocean?: Lake. Fresh water is much nicer.


32.waffles or pancakes?: Dollar pancakes!


33.soccer or football?: .....they're the same thing. (I live in a british household, okay?)


34.baseball or swimming?: Swimming. God, swimming.


35.chocolate or vanilla?: Chocolate. ^____^


36.sugar or spice?: Hot like TIGER. XD Seriously, I prefer salty than either.


37.eminem-please stand up or please shut up?: PLEASE SHUT UP.


38.If you could be in any movie as the lead role what movie would it be?: Fight Club. I'd be a good Tyler. XD


39.If you could design your perfect mate what would he/she look like and be like?: *thinks* .... like ORION! OHOHOHO!


40.If you won the lottery what would you do with your, let's say, 18 million dollars?: Give some to B, D, Lisa, Hana, Matt, and then run away with the rest to Jamie and buy her a small country.


41.What is the single most embarressing thing that has ever happened to you?: I dunno. I find it funny when I make an ass out of myself.


~HAVE YOU EVER


42.fallen in front of someone you thought to be quite good looking?: Well, I wiped out in front of B and half the population of Brampton at the arcade. XD Does that count?


43.run into a wall?: Every day.

44.sleep walked?: I used to a lot when I was younger.

45.gone skinny-dipping?: 'Fraid not.

46.snuck out of the house at night?: A few times.

47.gotten in a car wreck where you are the driver?: No, but we could pretend.

48.started laughing really hard so you just spit out what you had in your mouth cause you couldn't swallow?: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the funniest thing.

49.swallow a bug?: Not that I recall.

50. have you ever actually kept a new year's resolution?: Never in my LIFE.

 
Morning Blog!

I'm tired. Very, very tired. And I slept. See, this is what happens when I work myself up over being angry or upset. I drain myself for days. -__-;

SotM: Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Why? I dunno, this song just has the coolest sound to it.

XDDD LMM-- piss on that.

I really lack things to say.
10/02/2002
 
my cowboy bebop theme song is blue

what's your cowboy bebop theme song?

 
You know, rereading Brave New World is making me think. I'm wondering, if that bioengineered caste system existed, and we were all as happy as that, would it be good or bad? Because I'd like to be an Episilon. Getting immense joy out of doing stupid simple tasks, without the brain to think of anything bad or painful. It would be nice. I think too much. I hate thinking too much.
 
Today I am having a day where I hate my family. Oh, god, do I hate them. I had a GOOD day until I walked into this fucking house. I say hi to my mom and brother, and the first thing mom says is "you're in shit". So my response is "what?? Why? What did I do?" and she tells me that dad's livid over how I 'don't lift a finger to clean the house in the morning'. Well, excuse me. I have to get ready for school and print my damn homework. Anyway, ruined my mood. I sit down and want to say something to mom, but can't get a word in because her and John won't shut up and quit their bitching about work for two seconds so I can ask a fucking question. They ignore my existance. I forget what I was going to say. Then I tell my mom something I'm worried about because I don't want to do something that will make me upset to the point of depression again, and John jumps all over me saying that my depression is 'just an excuse for everything' I do. So naturally, I got upset and just kept telling him to shut up and mind his own damn business. Mom agrees with him and says I'm full of it. Then John yells at me some more about how I shouldn't tell people my problems if I don't want their opinions. When I point out that I wasn't talking to HIM, he went on and on about how it seemed to be a public conversation. What? Just because he and mom happen to be in the same room, if I talk to one that means I'm automatically addressing the other? Fuck that.
Then my dad comes downstairs and he's actually decent to me. So for a change, he's the only one who's not being a prick.

And random question. Did anyone but me notice the Run Lola Run parallel in Buffy last night?
 
moo.
 
Morning Blog.... x_x

I'm still asleep here.

I'm gonna write this down before I forget. This is the most vivid dream I've had in a while.

I dreamt that I was about 19 years old, and a dood (but me at the same time). In my dream, I had a little brother. My little brother was really sick, he had cancer or something, so I ran away from home to try to find a cure. It was against the law to run away from your designated area in town (everyone had a certain limit as to where they were allowed to go) in order to find a place that was said to have the cure. I was the first person to ever defy the law and leave my district, so it was a big offence. Fleets of cops were after me and there was a ransom and everything. I went into this town where there was a bus station, and I only had a $10 bill so I needed change. I managed to get change from one of the guys running this weird ticket thing up at the front, and I ran off into the bathroom to change my clothes so no one would know it's me. I changed into preppy clothes, and I dyed my hair (?) to red, cut it shorter, and put on a baseball cap. Then I went and walked down to the next bus stop because there were tvs in the station and I didn't want a ransom notice to come up on the screens while I was there. So I walked and walked to the bus stop and managed to get on the bus without getting caught by passing cruisers.
Eventually, I got off the bus and went to this big industrial building which was part hotel (?). I snuck around the front lobby to the elevator and went up. I got off the elevator and went past the hotel area into the industrial part, and went into the lab where there was supposed to be the cure. But the lab was trashed, and there was nothing in it. I searched around, but I heard police sirens outside. I looked out, and all the cops are swamping the building. So I waited until they were on the side of the parking lot where the front doors were and I climbed down, balcony to balcony, and ran to the bus stop. I got on the bus and headed to home.
When I got home, I went inside. It wasn't really -my- home, it was my friend's grandparents or something. Apparently, I was an orphan and a problem child and I lived with them. I lived in the basement and wasn't allowed anywhere else. My grandparents (I called them that even if we weren't related) were in the backyard with their friends going on about how I was such a problem and they hoped I'd get caught and taken away to jail. I snuck down to the basement and cried because it was all for nothing and I came back empty handed, and my little brother would still die. After a while, I snuck back upstairs and waited on the front porch for the cops to come get me.
All these people showed up, supporting me because I was only trying to save my little brother. They camped out on the porch and the lawn with me (B and D and Hana were there!), protesting. Eventually, the police came and took me away and I let them because I was worthless for not being able to save my brother.
The end.

It's beautiful isn't it? It was really vivid. o_O;

Okay, that's it for my morning blogness. To lazy to write more.
10/01/2002
 
Yup, you can tell Joss is writing for Buffy again. It's actually creepy. The whole Spike-hugging-cross-in-dark-church deal was really creepy. Only Joss can do that. I love Joss. Joss is GOD.

In other news... well... see LotM.

Been playing on L'Eglise du Rouge et Noir! I'm having fun.

Back to being tired and mostly down.
 
Morning Blog.

I'm depressed. And I've had to correct people like six times already this week, so here it goes.

My name is NOT Megan. It is MEG. It is NOT short for MEGAN. Meg is my INITIALS. NOT MY NAME.

There.

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